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Wednesday, January 16, 2013

I Will Die a Saint

Yup! You hear it right!

I haven't been writing anything in this blog for a very long time. In fact, I avoid my Raw Thoughts and Feelings altogether. There are so many issues in my life now to keep on a straight path, or deal with the rawness of them all.

My back and shoulders feel heavy with problems and extra added responsibilities  for more than a year now. I went into a panic attack, tugging and tearing myself between this and that. Moreover, I don't have any idea why I am in the situation I am in.

At 50 something, I should be able to have things in order, settling down with lighter duties, and being able to schedule my day accordingly, but that is impossible to do when I have doctor appointments or errands to do every week. Moreover, they are not even for me!!

Sure, I bite my tongue and buried my feelings. Sometimes, I curse it with the F word, and let the "whatever" took over.

Lately, I want to disappear like dust, or just move away to another State to change my luck and to run away from my duties. Maybe...one of these days it will come true..Maybe, I will just close my eyes, pray for mercy, and accept my fate!

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3 comments:

  1. I hear you loud and clear. Being 75 I have to say , most people I know go through times like this.
    Sometimes it's a hurricane, family member what ever you are not alone. I think you are a very capable person and am sure things will level out soon.
    Know this I wish you love.
    yvonne

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm so sorry that you've been going through such a rough time! xo

    ReplyDelete
  3. Days seem to get shorter and shorter and nothing gets accomplished for ourselves. Hubby yelled at me because I had not taken the pop bottles in during the summer and I explained that I am always running here and there between going to work - but he will not accept my excuses. They aren't even "my" bottles. lol I grab his as he will toss them out.

    ReplyDelete

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