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Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Strengthen My Sainthood

One thing I've learned about myself is that when I actually write as closely as how I feel or my emotions; the juice came out so much easier and with a strong force!

Then there is also that feeling of lightness in my heart and mind!

No wonder why people said writing is a form of therapy.

The only thing left that I wish for is a solution after the writing is done! An answer to a problem! A rescue! Maybe...

When I was younger, I drown myself in sad songs and let that dark moods eating at me. I still do this, but seldom!

Now, I find the immortal souls of all the saints an inspiring way to re-focus!

There has to be some meaning, some purpose, some direction after this life is done.

I try not to bury myself in my sorrows, but to look at them as challenges, and to take them as what must be done since I am the chosen one!

Accepting this fact is easier for me to deal with all the crap rather than asking "why me?" It doesn't matter how many times the why me is asked, it still is a dead end!

Just so you know, all the saints had no complains on how hard and painful their lives were.

I do: complaining, screaming, cursing, doubting, resenting, and hating my life; but still, I will die a saint!!! Amen....

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Bless you for READING!

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Friday, January 25, 2013

Gerbera Daisy Of Different Colors

Pink Gerbera
I have no new photos to show, not even of ice and snow! The weather is either gray or rainy, and neither of this condition make a perfect subject to snap on a brown dead background.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Do Not Mention My Name

I came to a stop. I don't feel like writing!

I threw many heated fits as I felt very depleted of energy, enthusiasm, and inspiring spirit. The more I give, the less I have!

It was not the more I give, the more I'll receive type "thingy".

The harder I tried, the more I have to do!

I am hopelessly doing all the chores and duties so I can just relax. But that will never happen and there will always be more with my name on it.

Friday, January 18, 2013

Pink Berries

Berries At the Conservatory
Not sure what they were! Not sure about anything anymore. I just pointed my camera way up and shot. They looked pretty and unique. That was all I know!

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

I Will Die a Saint

Yup! You hear it right!

I haven't been writing anything in this blog for a very long time. In fact, I avoid my Raw Thoughts and Feelings altogether. There are so many issues in my life now to keep on a straight path, or deal with the rawness of them all.

My back and shoulders feel heavy with problems and extra added responsibilities  for more than a year now. I went into a panic attack, tugging and tearing myself between this and that. Moreover, I don't have any idea why I am in the situation I am in.

At 50 something, I should be able to have things in order, settling down with lighter duties, and being able to schedule my day accordingly, but that is impossible to do when I have doctor appointments or errands to do every week. Moreover, they are not even for me!!

Sure, I bite my tongue and buried my feelings. Sometimes, I curse it with the F word, and let the "whatever" took over.

Lately, I want to disappear like dust, or just move away to another State to change my luck and to run away from my duties. Maybe...one of these days it will come true..Maybe, I will just close my eyes, pray for mercy, and accept my fate!

Joining Pour Your Heart Out!

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Friday, January 11, 2013

Monkey Plant Flower

Monkey Plant

This is a flower called Monkey Plant, Ruellia Makoyana, at the Conservatory!   It has a beautiful pink color, and such a happy face to see.

Friday, January 4, 2013

Pastel Colors In the Sky

Soft Colors
Love is never lost. If not reciprocated, it will flow back and soften and purify the heart.
~Washington Irving

I write what I feel, how I feel and whatever I like at the moment

MAKE IT BETTER!

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