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Tuesday, November 27, 2012

B Is For Blood Relation

In 2001, my divorce was final. With three children in tow, I moved 300 miles away from their father and began the single mom life with less than a $1000 dollars on hands and no job.

The first two years was devoted in establishing routines, regularities, and normalcy for my children. I worked on the house so it could have the feel of home for all of us. This was the hardest part of time for us as we broke out into the unknown.


I was under scrutiny eyes of blood relation but didn't know it. Whatever I did for my children and with my children were criticized and labeled as extravagant, such as when I took them out for bowling or to the movie theater once a week.

Though I've never asked for any handouts, or borrowing any money from family members that I could recall, I was crucified! My activity was reported to superior "Madre", and she was not kind with her usage of words to say the least. I was beaten in all aspect of life, and decided that I would not make another call to Madre from then on.

It was so very important to me to show my children that we were still a family and we've got each other despite the divorce. These outings took place on special nights when the bowling alley or the movie cost a dollar for each person.

My children and I returned bottles, and scrapped what we had to make a family night out of it. During that two or three hours, we had fun, escaped the reality of life, and created a different bond as a new dynamic family.

The hurt and pain were deep in my heart when I heard of how badly I was with my choices or how I lived my life. Unknown to me why I am always prone to criticism and belittled by blood relation!

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18 comments:

  1. Ah! No one likes to be criticized especially when you are doing the best you can. I hope your children appreciated your efforts. ;)

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  2. I hear you.
    I'm sorry.
    You did what you felt best, creating family memories. There is nothing more important than that. I imagine your children feel the richer for those special shared times.

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  3. When the kids grow up they always come back
    to you and let you know how wonderful you were.
    I went off on my own with two small children and
    now they tell me what a great mom I was when
    everyone else told me the opposite... Don't, don't
    listen to anyone or let them spoil your spirit...
    great post
    Sandy

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  4. Those who are so quick to judge, should walk a mile in your shoes. I admire that you were able to give you children a few hours of fun! Bless you!

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  5. I am so sorry that you were given such a hard time.

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  6. Hope you and your children are doing well now and believe in yourself ~ Great photo and post ~ sending you lots of congrat hugs for being so brave ~ (A Creative Harbor) ^_^

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  7. It's so easy to judge others, but it sounds like you've worked hard and done a good job with your kids.

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  8. those bowling times and trip to movie nights were priceless time spent bonding with your family, we all have our special ways of celebrating and nurturing relationships, that was special, and I knew, you were doing your best for your kids to still feel the family in you.

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  9. BRAVO...that's a good word for you...You know what is best for you. Prayers for others to understand that, too.

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  10. Sometimes, those who critisize so harshly are in fact envious - of your bravery, your determination, your strength, the bond of love you have with the kids. It is so much easier to find fault in you than to face their own shortcomings.

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  11. I hope you have been able to shut out the voices of criticism. Shame on them and brava for you for starting a new life for you and your children.

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  12. It is good that you went on doing what you thought was right for you and your children : )

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  13. blood relations are never easy. Never, never.

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  14. I certainly got a lot of criticism from blood relatives about the way I raised my children, but they actually turned out to be loving and responsible adults, while their cousins, who were deemed "perfect" are still floundering and unhappy. I won!!!!

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  15. I have always said. Once you give, consider it is that's person's right to do whatever they chose. I am glad you were able to make things work for yourself. Not everyone thought that, I hope you realize that there are some of us who feel you have the right to do whatever it is you damn please. Whatever makes you happy baby, you deserve it!

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  16. I agree with VBR and Amanda. If you had spent a $1.00 so what? Is not the joy you experienced with your children worth it and don't you all deserve it? Once in awhile we do need to abandon worry and enjoy. Didn't Jesus tell us not to concern ourselves with garments to wear or food to eat as the lilies of the field are adorned in finery and the little sparrow has plenty to eat. He blessed what you had and made sure you did not suffer for those times as He loves to see us share and give of our hearts, as He did.

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  17. Oh girl.

    There are a lot of those 'blood relations' all over the world, aren't there?

    I always think if people like that spent 1/10th of their lives being supportive and positive the world would be a totally different place.

    I'm glad you did what was right for YOU and your children...not for somebody with criticism and ugliness in their heart!

    You went boldly into a new life for your family.

    Bless you.

    A+

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