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Wednesday, March 28, 2012

S Is For Sinking

I have tried to hold and help my family members going through a very deep trouble time, but my effort seems to meet its stretch! Peace and harmony for my soul needed to be restored. Doing a good thing while my inside was on fire, is not a good thing anymore!


My desire to keep everyone happy, working through problem, and simple togetherness took a toll on me as I now dreaded the gathering. Not that I mind holding or being the hostess for these unions; I rather think they were fun for all of us, until I was stepped on repeatedly, and being put in the situation where I feel imprisoned in my own house without a say!

There is a saying in my country, and it goes something like this: "It only takes one worm to spoil the entire pot!" I found it fits perfectly in my situation!


As a normal person, I set out a certain time slot for the gathering, and knew that time slot would be spent for that purpose. Then this person began to show up at 3:30, three hours before the party supposed to start. I have a bad habit of not being able to do my work or writing when someone (other than my children) is around, as I feel I have to entertain.

I can't sit and concentrate on my work. The presence of another person is so very distracting and uncomfortable for me to ignore. My thoughts scatter, and I am on edge with the idea that I'm being watched or judged.

My ability to hold these family gatherings have a very important purpose, and I can do it with no problem. However, when I feel like a door mat in this honorable function, the fun diminished, and I sink in irritable feelings. Still, I will have to carry on for other people's sake...

Thanks for READING!

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15 comments:

  1. You carry so much on your shoulders, Mumsy. Why not let someone help share the burden?

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  2. You should feel comfortable in your own home! I don't know anything about the situation, but maybe it's time to stand up for yourself?

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  3. I too wonder if you take on too much on your own. It would be great if others could help you out.

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  4. sometimes you really have to let others in....you sure don't want to over do, take good care of you too!

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  5. Oh Mumsy, I'm having one of those days myself. I am so angry at a "friend" who has totally misunderstood me, ignored my kind response to her offenses, stomped on my graciousness, and I could go on. I decided to pray for others instead but could hardly concentrate. Why do people insist on conflict? I love PEACE!!!! Dear God, why is peace such a difficult thing to have? I know we have it through Christ and all, but there are folks who insist on conflict.
    I hope each of us learns to let go of the foxes/culprits that persist to spoil our vine/life.

    Hugs.

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  6. What would happen if you asked them to come later or gave them a job to do like cleaning a remote closet in your home?

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  7. What would happen if you asked them to come later or gave them a job to do like cleaning a remote closet in your home?

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  8. Sweetheart, you have to know your limits. Just tell them you have
    out of town guests, make an excuse. Save yourself. Take it
    from me, Family can cripple you.
    Sometimes you just need SPACE.

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  9. Mumsy, I can imagine how hard this must feel to you. And I suspect that you do not wish to hurt the feelings of others. But enough is enough. It's very important to speak up for yourself. Sometimes people really are rude and other times they just have no clue that this is even a problem for you. Without being forthright and telling them, sadly, you have to live with whatever you get.

    If, after telling them how you feel, it still doesn't work out, then that would be a different problem.

    Hope you can "unsink" yourself and have a great week.

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  10. Sounds like someone was maybe taking advantage a little of your kindness.

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  11. i am like you, i can not work nor write anything when someone is around, but i sometimes when i really need to (like i had to make lesson plans or submit expiring blog opps), i ask, "excuse me, i need some time alone in my room to work, if you don't mind. feel free to help yourself." thankfully, most my visiting family or friends understand me enough and give me that space whenever they are around.

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  12. it is very hard to really know what to do, unless you can just quit the whole thing. one day is one day too much when you're racing with time. the best way to discourage is not to be home...so how would you make it so that this person don't have a place to come over?

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  13. This Sounds familiar...

    It is So Stressful when people Show up early... I mean, Hello, it is "Scheduled" at a Specific time for a reason...

    Try to keep you Spirits up though... You deserve to Spend Some quality time on you!

    Great post for the letter "S"!

    Thanks for linking.

    A+

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  14. I believe much of this comes from working at home. I tell my family over and over that I have a deadline and they truly do not take me serious. lol Why is it if there is no time clock they assume you have no responsibility?

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  15. I've been in your shoes. I'm the oldest child and have had to deal with a lot of things because of it and I got so stressed from it in the past that I spend an entire year being sick from the stress of it all. Flu like symptoms type sick, just not feeling well, swollen lymph nodes, ending up with hypothyroid... yeah, stress can do a number and now I'm working on getting well again. Take care of yourself, family is important but so are you!

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