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Wednesday, March 21, 2012

R Is For Rage

As I am sitting here writing this, there is a very angry feeling that consuming my being, and I just have to "write it out loud". I am very sure that if you are in my shoes, you would feel violated too, or somewhat an uncomfortable feeling.


I also realize that it is "the little thing", and I shall get over it. However, I don't like feeling this way, and I shouldn't be made to feel this way as it is such a trap, and imprisonment! I heard you, I owe my feelings, and no one should make me feel what I don't allow myself to feel. It is easier said than done, as always!

Think about it, if the situation didn't arise, I would not feel this way: angry, trapped, and disrespected!

I am nice, too nice as a matter of fact, when I am quietly taking what others dished out without a word. I feel inadequate and torn as I can't confront the people without thinking about consequences. Above all, maybe my expectation was too high, when I assume that people should be considerate, and aware of their own being!


The situation was this, I supposed to watch the child until one o'clock at the max, and the father would come to take his child home; only when he showed up, he brought his work with him, and planted himself in my house to conduct his business.

Now, I have both the child and the father! My space is consumed. I can't do my own work nor have the time that I've set out for myself. I sat there thinking that maybe it was emergency that the father had to do his business. But it went on until 3:30, and I ended up taking the child with me to pick up my own son from school.

While the ordeal was going on in my own house, I didn't know what to say, but I fell utterly and totally uncomfortable, violated, and mad like heck. I mean what do you say in a situation like this when the people are your relatives?

I was on edge! I wanted my time and my house back! I wanted the person to respect my space, and not just planted himself on me whenever it was convenient for him. It was not a good feeling for me when I fell as if I was walked on. Why though? Why would someone do this to another without proper thinking?

Is my expectation too high in assuming that people should be considerate?

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13 comments:

  1. I get in trouble with family because I say what's on my mind. I guess you'd call it blunt. Anyway, it doesn't sit well with some.

    I would have been rather torqued off at this situation, but I would have likely said I had an appointment and had to leave soon -- hoping he would get the hint.

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  2. If you don't say anything then he will think he can do it again.

    Erika

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  3. I agree, he's more than rude, and probably out of luck next time he wants to bring his child over.

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  4. I think you need to tell him how you felt because he probably has no idea that he has annoyed you. Please don't let your bad feelings fester because it's not good for your own health or for the relationship between you and your relative.

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  5. That was incredibly rude and please say something if he tries to do it again!

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  6. I hope that next time you find the words to just tell him that it's time for him to leave. If he gets upset about it, that's on him, not you.

    =)

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  7. What an awkward situation and I hate being put in them! I bet you didn't think you were running an "office" out of your home. I don't think your expectations are too high considering this person was invading your space.

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  8. I think it's unfair to assume that others know what we're feeling without our saying so. It's your house. You were doing him a favor. Hopefully in the future if such a situation arises you'll feel confident enough to say what you want or need.

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  9. I'd have told him he couldn't set up in my house as soon as he started to do it. While he was rude and inconsiderate, I agree with anitamombanita that it was up to you to let him know. Hard to do though.

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  10. Hi Mumsy, to say that some of your posts are raw is to give me an invitation to visit often. ;) Raw is genuine, and genuine is the only writing I like.

    I stopped by to let you know that you are the winner of the April Showers tags. :) I'll contact you via email.

    I'm so sorry to read about this situation which is so upsetting, and I totally understand. You ask a question at the end of your post, "Why would someone do this to another without proper thinking?" From someone who has struggled plenty with the uncomfortable subject of confrontation, the answer is that we typically fail to establish boundaries. When the anger subsides, give yourself a quiet moment and grab a pen and paper. Write out all the boundaries others are crossing in your life. Write out a consequence that you will follow through with should those boundaries continue to be crossed. Such as not looking after their child. Gracefully tell the individual(s) what you expect, and what THEY should expect if they don't respect your wishes. Remember, confrontation is not aggression or conflict. It is more like communication. It can be graceful and forceful, not rude or harsh. Then stick with your plan. Can't confront verbally? Write it, email it, but communicate it or else you're up for more disrespect. If nothing changes after someone is confronted gracefully, remove yourself from the situation. Doesn't matter if it's family. Marriage is a little different because you don't remove yourself unless there is abuse involved, but boundaries still need to be established and respect is crucial.

    Love and blessings.

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  11. I think sometimes people are just too wrapped up in there own little world they forget other people even exist....

    Sadly, I have no advice to give because I am like you.... Too darn nice!

    And please, Rant and Rave as much as you need, that's what I am here for!

    Great post for the letter "R"!

    Thanks for linking.

    A+

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