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Wednesday, January 4, 2012

G Is For Gender

During my teenager years, my wish was to be a boy, a man, a male, not female! My pen name while writing for magazines was of a male. One of the editors wrote to me asking if I were a young man because he was taken by my writing, and I replied "I wish to be!" What he wrote back have stayed with me until this day: "Be a girl, natural, and as pretty as a girl!"

I thought about that beautiful sentence, and slowly it took root in me! "Be a girl, natural, and as pretty as a girl!" There was comforting and soothing in the affirmation of a male's perspective. I could not be a boy even if I wanted so much to be. So I would just be me, a girl, and happy with that.


In my world back then, boys had so much freedom, respected, and had no household chores. Parents, in general not just mine, preferred boys over girls since they could carried on the family name; therefore, generations would continue. I disliked the idea of being a girl, restricted, and under-valued.

My parents were ready and willing to trade their five girls in place of two boys, who were caught back in Vietnam after the war ended. I was not sure if they would actually go through it if they had a real chance, but to hear of how unimportant we girls were, hurt deeply in our soul and heart!


The men in my family had great power, though none of them abused that privilege to the extent of unbearable in general, but they each had a favorite sister or two. I was not found on those lists but rather on a black list instead!

Now that I am much older, I appreciate women, their strength, creativity, endurance, and intelligent. I accept that I am a woman; the best woman that I can be! The wish to be a male diminished after I read that one sentence in the mail long, long ago: "Be a girl, natural, and as pretty as a girl!"

Joining Alphabe-Thursday!

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12 comments:

  1. Mumsy, I have always thought that being a man was highly overrated! Women are much better at so many things!!! We rock!!

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  2. I really love my women friends for their sensitivity and compassion. I wouldn't be a man for anything! I think women actually rule the world, the men just haven't figured it out yet!

    xxoo,

    RMW

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  3. How wonderful that someone wrote you that note and that you took it to heart!

    And I agree with Judie that being a man is NOT all that great. I'm happy to be female. :)

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  4. Do I ever agree with Judie! I've never ever wanted to be a boy, although so often in my life I was called "one of the boys"! Still, while I have superb male friends and my wonderful soulmate, my closest ties are to women. Glad someone showed you the light, Mumsy. :-)

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  5. I love the advice your were given!

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  6. What a wonderful post. I often say I'm the only boy my daddy ever had. 'Round him I wore my cowboy boots and was require to do the 'farm' things. Mama dressed me in frilly dresses and bows, then I was Mamas little darlin'.

    Today I can climb in a semi, tractor or pickup truck and do whatever is required to be a farm wife but I am primpy and a true gal.

    I do have to confess every now and again when I here and alone findin' I'm in the midst of somethin' that I don't truly have the muscle for you'll find me yellin', "I need more testosterone!!!" Heeehehehhe!

    God bless ya sweetie and have a magnificent 2012!!! :o)

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  7. It's wonderful that his words had such a positive impact on you!

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  8. oh, really really beautiful pictures, am glad his words convinced you to love being a girl. i love being a girl wandering around like a boy, i felt then like i was the center of attention, and i have all brothers and no sister that made me feel so special since i get to play their games, and girls games, and i can be both :)

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  9. Interesting post and I believe women are proving they are up to the task of pretty much everything a man can do.
    My husband is a retired firefighter and the first woman on the job years ago caused quite a stir. Now there are quite a few and at least they keep in shape.

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  10. I love that healing sentence! Since we currently live in a country where boys have been more valued than girls; it is really interesting to hear your perspective from the inside. People say this is changing here. I have three boys and they are amazing and wonderful, but I am thankful to have the sensitivity to beauty and to the feelings of others that they some times have to work at. You are truly a beautiful woman.

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  11. Wow.

    This was really a thought provoking post for me. I often think men do have it easier...physically and emotionally.

    I was always a tomboy which was sometimes the best of both worlds.

    The advice you were given is wonderful. I'm glad that angels were always there at the exact right moment to help you along this painful path.

    Thanks for a great link for the letter G.

    A+

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  12. I have so much respect for women, their creativity, beauty, intelligence, strength, and compassion. I find no man who possesses all that.

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