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Wednesday, November 16, 2011

C Is For Chosen

I was chosen, not by my own choice, to be the less unfortunate one out of two. It was decided by a mighty invisible hand from above, and my destiny was set. Not even the doctor, who administered the injection into my body, knew of the outcome. How could he? Two little sick girls were brought to him for treatment, and he gave them both the same dose of medicine.

One returned home fine, but one lost her physical ability to function. So, the later girl was me, and I was chosen. Mama said I had to carry the cross for my siblings, ten of them! That was too heavy, I told mama, and why me? What was the purpose of my life then? To feel sad, to envy, to be mad, to wish and dream of a different life other than the one that was handed to me? What was the reason to be the less unfortunate?


There were so many times that I wished it wasn't me, and that I wasn't a handicapped. My life would have turned out differently if my right leg was normal. Admitted, a girl with a beautiful face, perfect body was most likely falling in high society, and had more choices than one with lesser appeal. Hearing people said that you were beautiful and then got dismissed as quickly as the words left their mouth, was more like rubbing salt into an open wound.

Many times people told me that I was stronger than a perfectly normal human form, and usually that statement turned my inside out. My determination to do what people thought I couldn't do, and my spirit to show them that I was not completely an invalid often gave them that prickly impression. It was all right, but still there was some bitter sweet under that affectionate comparison.


During my teenager years, I dreamed of being normal, to dance, to run, to ride bicycle, and to wear high heel shoes.  I watched other girls prancing with ease and wished for that simple joy of being free from my own body imprisonment. But I was chosen! The card on my hands was less than desirable, so I had to play it with the best of my ability.

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(Listed in Mixed Memories Series)




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6 comments:

  1. You are beautiful and have more talent in your little finger than some have in their whole body. I am sorry that this happened and for all the pain that it ever caused you to experience.

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  2. the images are so beautiful, yet the words haunting and painful, i am so sorry about your pain, if words can heal, but i hope that despite these shortcomings, a lot of good came your way.

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  3. I'm so sorry that you were dealt such an unfair hand in life...I think you are a wonderful person and you write so beautifully. I'm glad that despite all the hardship you had, you made the best of your abilities.

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  4. Mumsy, wow, that was poignant. I suppose we're all chosen to experience whatever we experience. Some, sadly, are given greater burdens than others. Thank you for sharing those raw feelings so honestly and so beautifully. The words and the photos are beautiful.

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  5. That was an amazing piece of writing you are an amazing person thank you for sharing

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  6. What touching writing.

    This really got to me, Miss Mumsy.

    Your courage is always an inspiration.

    Thank you.

    This was lovely beyond words.

    A++++++++++++++++++++++++

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