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Wednesday, November 9, 2011

B Is For Beauty

Growing up I always know that I had a beautiful face, and got attention very easily. The compliment was very flattering and built up for pride, only a second later I was thrown in a deep dark hole: "too bad she is a handicapped!"

I was forced to learn that having a beautiful face with an imperfect body meant nothing in this world. Face and body had to be in accepting terms of society expectation! Having a perfect 10 body with an ugly looking face was useless, and vice versa!

I was chosen to experience this concept all through my life, and reluctant to bare the truth to my admirers. When I sat still at one spot, I listened to the boys ooh aah on how pretty I was, or heard adults commented on my good looking features, I remained seated until they were all gone.

I didn't have the courage to stand up and walked away to show them my wobbling legs! The harsh reality would be like a stiff smack to my face. I hid my imperfection with these total strangers, and embarrassed with my own handicapped. In a way, I needed to feel some affection to know my worth.

Going into adulthood, I carried this torment when someone looked at me with a slight adoring facial expression. I worried that the person would replace that look for a pity one or worst yet a regretful one. My beauty didn't bring me joy but rather a condemnation. That first impression always brought out the foolishness in people.

Now, I am at the point in life when someone looks at me, I stand right up and start walking to show my handicapped straight away. I don't like to see their disappointment or pity look. Sure, I do feel robbed some time, but it is what it is, and I am who I am.

Participating in Alphabe-Thursday!

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(Listed in Mixed Memories Series)





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13 comments:

  1. Truly, most of us worry too much about what other people think. It's good that you now know what to do to make yourself feel comfortable when dealing dealing with other people and your disability. I like your positive attitude!

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  2. I know what you mean about getting to a certain age and not really caring as much any more. It feels good to just be who I am...

    XXOO,

    RMW

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  3. Mumsy, the most important beauty is the beauty of the human spirit.

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  4. No one should ever judge anyone by the first appearance. Some people are just cruel minded. I have seen that even in schools where the children are even mean to others that may have a slight fault. Sometimes it is a cruel world out there. You are doing just fine.

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  5. You are truly beautiful inside and out.

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  6. Mumsy, it saddens me to hear that people can be so superficial and hurtful. A beautiful face is nice to look at, but it's what in the heart that matters to me. Frankly, we all have disabilities, but it is what we do with our abilities that matters.

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  7. I'm glad you have gotten to the point where you just get up and let them think what they will. And I have to hope that most of them still see your beauty.

    =)

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  8. Mumsy, you continue to be one of the most transparent, eloquent, and thought-provoking writers on the web. Thank you for sharing your experiences and insights.

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  9. I agree with the comments left here...and it is a great reminder to know that the beauty shines brightest through the thoughts, kindness, love and actions that we share to those around us. I am so thankful for the love and grace of the Lord in my life.

    Blessings & Aloha!
    My friend, thank you so much for your visit and congratulations :o)

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  10. I admire your spirit...
    The young woman our son will hopefully make our future daughter-in-law has hearing aids and is more connected and in tune with the world around her than many people who supposedly have no hearing impairment. The beauty from within is what counts and those that don't understand that don't matter.

    A moving post.

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  11. This is exactly why so many of us love and admire you!

    'but it is what it is, and I am who I am.'

    Bravo for you beautiful lady!

    Bravo!

    A+

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  12. Sometimes I think physical beauty can be over-rated. I know a few people who are considered "beauties" but they are horrible human beings and I've known girls who are average and plain but are amazing. I think people put so much into the idea of beauty that they often don't see past that.

    I'm glad that you no longer feel the need to hide your own handicap these days because it must have been very suffocating trying to hide it. You are a beautiful person inside and out and handicap or not, it's the inside that really counts, right?

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  13. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. If they do not see beauty it is they who are lacking.

    ReplyDelete

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