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Wednesday, September 14, 2011

V Is For Vague

Everyone in my family went through a vague time of life. My parents regretted the decision of leaving their country, even though it was a matter of life and dead, but they were tortured by the thought of having two children back home. Two boys! You see, Asian culture always preferred boys over girls, any time and every time!

My sisters and I, five girls, lived pretty much in the shadows of those two missing boys! Although they were not there, they were more in existence than we girls were. In turn, we kept busy and studied our brain out with the Vietnamese/English dictionary days and nights in order to get good grades at school. We had to float along the water current of life.

Looking back, I couldn't remember how we all survived this terrible period of confusion, ripping, and challenging. Our weekend social events included visits from other Vietnamese refugees from around town. These get together occasions helped with the isolation and homesick feelings, plus gave us a connection of union. To my understanding, it also prevented suicide attempts for many single people who found themselves lonely and out of sorts.

Slowly, we all had to come to term with reality, and the life as was lying in front of us. My family, along with many other families and single people had regular get together every weekend to form countryman ship in order to survive! Single people were all male soldiers who left their families behind in the rush for safety.

Each family had a story to tell, and none was more terrified than the other. Our experiences as boat people would always stay in our mind, and got pushed further in the back so we could catch up with life as it happened. We had to learn from one another the types of foods we were familiar with, where to get them, and other small aspects that we wouldn't normally think of.

From these gatherings, we formed a support system where new arrivals were welcomed and got helped from the group to get settled into their new life. Having someone pointed out the way was what kept many from going berserk! As for school-age children, we were on our own in every step of the way...

Joining Alphabe-Thursday!

(Listed in Teenager Years series) Registered & Protected


  1. I'm happy that there seemed to be some sort of support system and social outlet for your family. I can only imagine how hard it would be to leave everything and everyone behind!



  2. I cannot imagine having to leave part of my family behind! It's good there were people already here to help you!

  3. Love your new header. The details are stunning and the post is so touching! I cannot imagine. As I try to imagine, I remember joining the army straight out of high school and the awful feelings of homesickness and loneliness that would wave over me. I had my first anxiety attacks, and this was the same country and the same language....

  4. I know it was hard for you to know that your parents preferred their sons. My parents, particularly my mother, were the same way. So sad, isn't it!

  5. It's always important to have a support system when you are going through a tough time, especially if that group of people all understand and know what it's like to be going through the ordeals you faced.

    I can't even imagine what it must have been like to be in your family. It must have been so difficult for you and your siblings and for your parents too. Not only did you have to go through being refugees but also of having to be separated from family. It must've been a lot to deal with. I hope that your family gets reunited soon!

  6. How wonderful that your family found a way to serve other families!

  7. Community is so important, and I'm glad your family had that group of people with shared experience so they could sustain and support each other.

  8. Self-help among refugees and migrants serve as wonderful life lines. I'm sure it made those who reached out to help feel better about their situations, too.

  9. I am so happy to read about this support system, but also very sad to read about so much suffering.

  10. Wow! What a life you've had! I hope this country began to feel like home eventually.

  11. I can't even imagine the 'coulda, woulda, shoulda's' involved with all the momentuous and stressful things that happened in your family.

    I'm glad you all found some support to help move past the misery.

    Thanks for sharing this.

    It made me relieved that you have someone who totally understands the situation to help you.



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