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Wednesday, August 31, 2011

T Is For Tantalizing

Once all the equipments brought home, I was told to practice wearing these armors for at least two hours a day to build calluses around my rib cages. Sounded absolutely heaven and made sense, right? I gave it my best shot. I put on the brace, the shoes, and the crutches to "better" my walk! I took all the pain even though the edges of the plastic brace was cutting through my skin.

When Father Paul came to visit, I was told to show him my progress, and put on my shackles pretending that his effort paid off. I loved him since no one had ever cared for me that much besides Captain Cook, but I had no infatuation with Captain Cook as I was just a child. With Father Paul, I was already a teenager at an emotional turmoil stage!

I didn't wear these armors to school since I didn't feel stable in them, and they only got in the way at a very bustling school. When the bruises under my rib cages were unbearable to tolerate, I stopped putting them on at home. No one knew that I had bruises or my skin was cut! They were very tough to move about and around in. Sitting in them was impossible since the brace would be pushed down on my pelvic bones with sharp pain.

I did get lots of attention at this stage all on behalf of my broken leg! The final straw came when I was told to put on my shackles to show Father Paul how at ease I was with them. To make everyone happy, I put on my equipments and put on the show. Just after the first few steps, I stopped on my track and yelled "ouch!"

My parents thought that I was embarrassed and encouraged me on with subtle threats. I tried for the life of me to take another step. Then in their horror, I lashed out with anger by ripping off the brace, and lifted up my shirt showing them the bruises under my rib cages, and under my breasts from the invasive brace. I took a look at my parents' and Father Paul's faces, and turned away.

Not knowing what would happen to me, I left for my bedroom and thought about my action! It was inappropriate of me to do what I did in front of a priest, but I really didn't reveal anything. Talking was useless in my case, and they just needed to see evidence that I've tried in vain to please them...

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Friday, August 26, 2011

Deep Pink Clover

Pink Clover

This beautiful deeper pink color clover was found at a soccer field, and there were plenty of them. This shade of pink is different than my pink clover at home. I have to say that the color is so luscious...

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

S Is For Shackle

Father Paul registered me at a local High School, and after Christmas that year, I went to a real school. He had a young girl-Lorie-from our church to accompany me for the first few weeks to show me the way, from where to get on the bus, to the school office, to my classes, to how to catch the bus home. Father Paul was very considerate, and thought of everything for my transition. Without Lorie's help, I would have been lost big time.

However, he was under pressure in helping me improved my broken leg and the way I walked! Either after school time or on Saturday, Father Paul still had to take me to appointments. Since I did spent quite a bit of time with him, teenager's crush set in even though he was older than my own father. I fell in love with him and the feelings were just as raw as could be!

Mind you, it was all platonic, and he never knew how I felt. I believe I would have fell in love with anyone who showed me tenderness, attention, and loving gestures at that age or at any age for that matter! He was the first priest that I love, and held dear in my thought. Father Paul determined that surgery was out of the race in my case, so he took me to the shoes specialists. Yes, shoes specialists and we saw many until settled with one!

One of the doctor I saw earlier, made a heavy duty plastic brace for my hip, and the shoes specialist custom-made a special pair of shoes with a higher lift for my right side. They believed with these equipments I would have a balance walk, a normal walk and would not wobble anymore. Father Paul had the patience of a saint and took me for many fittings until they were all perfectly ME!

I went along for the ride to please everyone in my life, and thought nothing of it until I had to try on the brace and the shoes together. The brace was placed under my rib cages, and strapped around my abdomen with Velcro to hold it in place! Once the shoes were on, and they asked me to take a step, I couldn't. I was stiff as a pole! The thick plastic brace pushed up against my rib cages and hurt like heck with each movement I made with their help.

Looking for rescue, I turned to Father Paul with tears again running down my cheeks! I saw the look of despair on his face as he had no idea why I cried. The doctor and the shoe maker quickly added another piece of equipment to my agonizing pain: crutches to use under my armpits. I felt shackled, freak of all freaks, and a prisoner in my own body. When I tried to explain that it hurt terribly, they told me I would get used to it...

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Monday, August 22, 2011

Buttercup Flower

I finally had a chance to take photos of this wild buttercup flower by the parking lot! They were quite small, but exquisite upon closer examination. I struggled trying to take some decent pictures of this buttercup while the wind blew so strong.

This buttercup flower grew wild among flower beds around my area, but I didn't have a chance to get close to it until last week. I happened to park my car right next to a flower bed with this buttercup grew everywhere.

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Deep Pink Dahlia

I saw this beautiful deep pink dahlia at a park and could not stop admiring its beauty. The deep color pink was so intense under the sun light, making it a challenge to photograph since my point and shoot camera doesn't have a manual option to adjust.

These dahlia flowers were grown in group, and among these pink ones, there were also some beautiful mixed colors, yellow, and red. Have a fantastic weekend, everyone!

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Back Up Your Computer With Carbonite

This post brought to you by Carbonite. All opinions are 100% mine.

Carbonite Online Backup
As you know, I take many photos of flowers, sky, and critters. It is an activity that helps me channel calmness into my life. Last year when my computer crashed, I lost all my pictures that were stored on my laptop. I have since looking for other ways to back up my files, and Carbonite is a great website to consider.

For $59 dollars a year, you will get unlimited space to have your PC or Mac computer backup automatically and securely when your computer is on. Your photos, music, and files are accessible wherever you go. Moreover, if you have an iPhone, iPad, iPod touch, Android, or Blackberry smart device, they also have apps available for those, making it easy to share anytime, anywhere.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

R Is For Raw

For some reasons, people like to fix me, or better my life with a pair of straight working legs! No one wanted more than me-myself-but it was only a fantasy and wishful thinking on all part! I, somehow, knew it would never work out, and having a pair of normal legs was just a beautiful dream.

My family's sponsors lined up appointments with doctors for me to see! Again, I was just a guinea pig that brought up curiosity, pity, and questions. I had no desire to go through another experimental testing or humiliating, but I was raised up to obey without a frown! However, as each experiment failed, so went my confident and a thrive to live!

I was dragged along from one doctor to another, and this time I showed my quiet anger and displeased. I wouldn't talk; I wouldn't cooperate, and just avoided looking at anybody! For a month long after I got home from the Baltimore Hospital's controversial case, I was again the "freak" of a new society. I was held back at home, and was not sent to go to school like all my sisters.

Often, Father Paul, a pastor at the church who sponsored our family, took me to these appointments. Everyone else had to work or didn't speak English well enough to understand the doctors. Father Paul became someone who I would take my frustrations out after seeing a doctor. I would give him a look of anger and sadness while trying to hold the tears back.

I was 17 years old and desperately wanted to live somewhat of my abnormal life. I wanted to fit in the scheming of things however hard it was for me to do so. Father Paul, slowly understood that I was not a willing participate in the quest to fix my leg witnessing tears streamed down my cheeks after every examination. He could not stand my silence treatment toward him!

Many times, Father Paul would stop driving and stood in the middle of road trying to get me to talk. He didn't care who was behind him, or that he held up traffic until I talked to him. One day, while the person behind him honking their horn, I told him: "No more doctors. No more appointments. I want to go to school" in a quiet tone of voice. Father Paul looked at me for a long time and smiled as he drove on...

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Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Orange African Daisy

I hate squirrels! Can I say that? It's a bit strong, and I know many people love them, but they are little devils around here. They have eaten my flowers, my tomatoes, making nest in the chimney, and digging holes every where in my yard.  They are very destructive creatures in my neck of the woods.

My orange African daisy flower only gets to live life one day, and then was spread apart the next morning by the squirrels. I bought moth balls and placed them around the house, but nothing could stop these menace creatures. They didn't eat the flowers, but just cut them off the stem! Why is that?

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The Night Mare With Contract Phones

This post brought to you by Straight Talk. All opinions are 100% mine.

Have you heard the phrase mom knows best? That is a true statement, because as a mom, I know what is best for my children under many different circumstances! I think it is a natural instinct for all moms to realize what would work and what would not for their offspring. After all, we carried them for over nine months as one with our bodies.

My stubborn daughter decided to sign a contract with one of the mobile phone service providers, and every time she called in to change the minutes or added texting, her contract automatically extended for another year! We have been fighting with this dilemma for the last few months. However, there was nothing we can do, and we just have to ride it out.

Friday, August 12, 2011

Deep Pink Gazania In Water Drops

This is my beautiful deep pink color gazania, also known lovingly as African daisy! I bought a variety of different colors gazania to grow in the pot along my driveway. This flower has to be one of my favorites.

I love gazania flowers because they have continuous blooms, and keep on producing flowers after flowers. They are not perennial, and I plan on collecting the seeds but so far I couldn't figure out which are seeds, and which are not.

The squirrels around our neighborhood are truly menaced! They kept cutting down my African daisy buds, not eating, just chomp them off, and I am heart-break to see my beautiful flowers on the driveway!

Joining Weekend FlowersPink Saturday,and Today Flowers! Registered & Protected

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Q Is For Quenching

With Chi's departing, I spent the last two days at the barrack quiet and alone. I packed all my belongings which included three pairs of clothing, addresses of friends, and my diary ready to go at moment noticed. Although I longed for company of friends, I didn't go out of my room except for meal times. People I had know before no longer at Indian Town Gap.

California seemed to be the State for settlement of many! In our young mind, we had no concept of how big America really was, and always thought that we were within driving distance of each other. On the way to the airport I realized just how big one city was to the next.

The bus dropped me off at the airport entrance, and Marty was there waiting with paperwork and ticket for me on his hands. We walked to where I supposed to be, and there we sat. Marty gave me his home address and asked me to write to him. He also talked to the flight attendance in regard of my connection flight, and told me everything was set. Someone would look after me and guild me to the right gate at the next stop.

Marty was nice, and considerate. His sweet personality touched me deeply, and I vowed I would remember him always. Although my life had been rough for the most part, I seemed to meet kind people along the way, and it was comforting to realize that much.

As I was on my way home to be with family I quenched for Chi's friendship. It was hard to think that we didn't see each other for almost a week, and that the next time if we ever saw each other again, we would be adults. Many of the friends I made during the journey to the United States, were now lost forever!

I couldn't understand my feelings at the time, but a sense of lost, loneliness, and emptiness came over as I finally realized that I was going to a definite settlement area. No longer would I be bounced around, met new people, or be unstable. It felt as if the doors were closing in...

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Monday, August 8, 2011

Orange Zinnia

It took two tries this year for me to grow zinnia flowers, but they finally flowered, and produced such a different look too. The petals were not flat or open up completely, but rather folded as you can see in the first photo. I couldn't decide what to call this color: orange or yellow or "orangy-yellow".

Whatever, they bloomed! They came to show their beautiful faces, and they will stay until late in September when the weather turns! Zinnia flowers are easy to grow, they love sunlight, they are resilient flowers, and they also love moisture.

You don't have to do much with zinnias, just put the seeds in a pot of soil, water them, and watch them grow!

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Friday, August 5, 2011

Pink Hydrangea

This is another bush of pink hydrangea flowers at my sister's house. She has two huge ones at the front entrance and at the back entrance. They are blooming so beautifully, and mine got eaten up by pesky squirrels.

I caught the squirrel dug up the root and carried it away! Arrg...I was very upset but there was nothing else I can do. So now I have to enjoy my sister's flowers instead.

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Wednesday, August 3, 2011

P Is For Parting

Chi' got clearance to leave Indian Town Gap and to be reunited with his family in California. He had talked to them a few times on the phone, and waiting for the day of departure. My heart sank when he told me that he would be leaving in two days as I had no idea when my turn would come.

I wanted to rush the process so I could join my family in Michigan. Life at the camp would be in total devastation and sadness without Chi', so I went to the office to ask about my case three times a day. Knowing a little English helped in a big way! The pressure was on! I wouldn't go away from the office until I talked to someone who handled my case. I wanted so badly to leave Indian Town Gap as soon as Chi' was gone.

My stubbornness paid off, and I met a wonderful man at the office. His name was Marty Ferris, twice my height and skinny. Through my little and broken English, he understood the emergency of my case! I was a teenager girl on my own, and without Chi', I would have no one looking after me!

Marty Ferris was in his twenty; gentle spoken voice, and very patience with the constant stream of people coming in and out of his office looking for settlement in the States. He took a special liking to me, probably because I was one that could understood what he said. He worked on pushing my paperwork through the pile of cases on his desk.

Chi' and I exchanged addresses on the day he left! Just as Chi's departure took place, Guy also arrived back to the camp! The hospital emptied out all of their refugee patients, and sent them back to the barrack. The sign of Guy brought on an unsettling nerve inside my stomach, and I hid in my building for fear of running into him.

Two days later, Marty Ferris came looking for me with good news: I would be leaving Indian Town Gap the day after, and he volunteered to accompany me to the airport since I was under age. If I believe in angel, Marty was it; and if I believe in the stroke of luck, meeting him was it...

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Monday, August 1, 2011

Wild Raspberry

Growing among the grass, I found this raspberry flower! This vine has spread everywhere in our lawn, and continues to be the food for many critters.

The yellow raspberry flower is very beautiful to see, and the raspberry has such a sour taste to it, but I guess it was not intended for human consumption.

Birds and squirrels of all kind come to have quick bite of this luscious ripe raspberry! We are going into August, and this raspberry still grows very strong.

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I write what I feel, how I feel and whatever I like at the moment


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