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Wednesday, June 22, 2011

J Is For Journal

I've kept a journal at a very young age, and in it I often wrote about how I felt, who said what to me, or what happened to me. However, it was never RAW and Truthful since I had always afraid that someone would read it, and I would be in trouble. I watched over my thoughts with my own writing, and tried to find a secret way to express them that only I would understand.

I came across my old journal, where I wrote about Chi', and my relationship with him in the hospital. Thus, this Alphabe-Thursday series came in to play. Now, more than 20 years has passed, and we've lost touch; I still remember him vividly in my mind. It is sad that the people that meant a lot to me in the first half of my life seemed to just vanish.

I've searched for Chi' these last few years, but not very successful. The last letter he sent to me carried Santa Ana, California post mark and I had a collection of his pictures in various places that he visited. We were friends through the hardest part of our teenage years when our imperfection made us felt like outcasts and unwanted.

He had several times hinting his feelings toward me, but we both knew there were no future for us, and there was that "age-thingy" between us! I was older. I was his older sister in other words. My journal didn't reveal much of anything beside the fact that I recorded the dates we were in the hospital, how we met, and what we went through.

I promised Chi' that I would be there for him after our families knew where we would settle by keeping in touch. We did exchanged correspondence for many years until we were in our late twentieth, and we moved houses. My only regret was not able seeing him after our discharge from the hospital.

It was funny how at a younger age I didn't really know how to keep friendship alive, or have a deeper appreciation for those in my life. People come and go until years later that I have wishes of knowing where they are now. I'm however, happy that I still have his pictures, letters, and the journal that reminded me of that difficult time in our lives.

Joining Alphabe-Thursday!

(Listed in Teenager Years series) Registered & Protected


  1. I don't know what I would do without my friends....

    I hope you can reconnect sometime!

  2. It's great that you still have the journal.

    Even though you and Chi have lost touch that does NOT mean you will never see him again. We never know what's in our future.

  3. I hope your paths will cross again.

    It's wonderful that you have that journal so you can see how far you have come!

    What a journey you have been on in your life.

    Thanks for letting us tag along.


  4. i do hope you will be able to find him and reconnect, i didn't make any journals when i was younger, i thought they will be forever frozen in my mind. now, i only have my blog to look back to, but that is when i already am older,and it is not really a journal. sometimes, i wanted to write about raw thoughts and feelings too.

  5. You just may reconnect with him one day! Life has a way of bringing things back around again.

  6. Yes, pictures, letters, journals and your memories of your friend are so wonderful to have! Hopefully, you might one day find him. ...growing up and then marrying in a military family meant moving every 2 to 3 years...I wish that I had been better at keeping in touch with so many dear friends from my past.

    Blessings & Aloha!

  7. This entire series about your time at the hospital and with Chi' is an interesting one. It's great that you have a journal that recorded so much of that time.

    I do hope that you can one day get back in touch with Chi' again. He sounds like he was a big part of your past and it would be good to reconnect with someone who meant so much to you.

  8. Looking back at old journals take us to a different place in time and often rekindle memories. Yours seem to have done just that. Even if you never locate your friend you have your memories.

  9. It's true that we take friendships so for granted in our youth, only to regret it when we're older.

    That's one reason why Facebook is so popular!


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