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Wednesday, January 26, 2011

P is For Pain

Pain comes in so many forms, physical, mental, and emotion! Each pain gives you a different whip. Physical pain you can forget, but mental and emotion pain take much longer to heal. This sort of pain can resurface at any time and can be continuously destroying one's being.

Long ago, I was naive in thinking that divorce would cut off many of the contributing factors of the pain that I was going through. It wasn't it! I might not face the pain everyday anymore, but that pain is still in existence every other weekend, and whenever it wants to stir.


Lucky for those who got out of that particular relationship without children! The endless turmoil stopped right there after the divorce! Life then can go on to a wonderful new direction and give you a chance to erase bad memories altogether. No longer can that relationship drag on or linger on to constantly reminded you of that terrible mistake.

Having children bring on a new set of problems after the divorce, and it will keep on escalating at times whether you like it or not. Not only you have to deal with the X, you might even have to deal with their play-mates, and so would your children! Life in a divorce family is always complicated and terribly confusing.


I don't regret my decision to have the divorce, but I feel bad when seeing my children going through the turmoil of pain every other weekend. From young to old, they dread the idea of having to deal with his presence, and lately with the added constant intrusion of his play-mate.

Why he couldn't see the pain from his own children, I don't know! In pursuit for acceptance, and approval, more pain has needlessly added for no good reason at all. Pain is inevitable in this life, but when it has no end to it, is unbearable to endure!

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22 comments:

  1. I don't know why there has to be such pain and suffering like there is. Some people seem so burdened by it, and others seem to think nothing of causing it. I am grappling myself. (((hugs))) to you today.

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  2. So sorry for what you are going thru. I waited till my kids were grown and left home before I left. I was insecure and felt that I would fail. I would not have failed - I know that now. It is hard with the kids especially when they have to go and they don't want to - it makes you feel so bad. Hold your head up high and no in your heart that you are strong and can get through this. You will get the kids through it too.

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  3. One of the reasons you divorced him was because he was so self centered. He has not changed. It is unfortunate that your children have to deal with his lack of consideration, but they are lucky to have you, and you them. I pray for your resolution with this.

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  4. P is for Peace. I hope you find it in 2011.

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  5. It would be nice if we could all see the pain we cause, but unfortunately, some people are just unaware of the hurts they create. Hopefully, as the kids grow they will be able to choose whether or not they want to spend time with him.

    Teresa

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  6. Mumsy....I am living your pain. That is all I can post.

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  7. I have lived your situation through a friend. Late in life he found a companion who had had similar experiences ... and they are perfect together. Their marriage is stronger than anybody I know ... because of their painful experiences ... and their grown children are smarter and more sensitive than most ... because of the painful experiences they endured. There is light at the end of your tunnel ... and while it is unfortunate that your little children have to see this part of life ... it could impact them in a positive way. Sometimes we learn important lessons about how NOT TO BEHAVE from folks who misbehave.

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  8. In any divorce, it is the children who suffer. Adults tend to get on in time with their lives, but for them it will always be there. "P" stands for pleasure as well. Seek it out as often as you can.

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  9. Mumsy - I am so sorry to read about what you and your children are going through because of that man. Maybe once the kids are grown, you won't have to deal with the pain anymore.

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  10. I grew up visiting my dad on Sundays with his various friends. It was really hard.

    Your children are blessed to have someone who can see their pain and guide them through it.

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  11. Been there. Done that. My two younger children don't see their father as a dad, because he just never grew up himself.
    The older of the two named his son after my current husband.

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  12. Hey! Thanks for the comment on my post. I have no idea what I am doing in the world of sci fi--it is alien to me. Hahahaha!

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  13. It does pass and it does get better. My older two are in their twenties now and able to understand so much more but we too had a hard time getting there.
    Big hugs to you and yours x

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  14. I'm sorry you and your kids have to deal with the trauma of divorce. Some things can't be helped, but that doesn't make it any easier, does it?

    "/

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  15. May your today's pain be your tomorrow's strength.

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  16. I've never been through a divorce, but have had several friends who have. They all express the same type of pain about their children.

    Hugs you Mumsy!

    xxoo,

    RMW

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  17. I think you touched a nerve here for so many Mumsy...certainly for me as well.

    It is difficult to understand how a purportedly loving parent can treat children like pawns in an ugly game of power chess.

    It sickens and saddens me.

    I'm sorry you are carrying this burden of the heart.

    Thank you for sharing it.

    Sending you an A+ along with a great big hug!

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  18. Sorry to hear that. I hope the painful phase will not last for long.
    Please take care and have a wonderful weekend.

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  19. Howdy Mumsy
    Blessings of joy and peace to you as you work through this painful period in your life.
    I truly wish for you and your children to find deep ,lasting joy again deep down inside .
    May your days turn lighter ,with more moments of joy and less of strife.
    Oh I wish I could wave a wand and make your days full of peace,comfort,laughter and well healty for you and yours !
    In the mean time I'm sending some hugs your way .
    Remember to be kind to yourself !
    Untl next time
    Happy Trails

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  20. Mumsy...been there done that...
    now the kids are 42 and 38
    we still have issues...
    my son lived with his dad,
    daughter with me.
    after 27 years of marriage to my
    2nd husband, my son still treats
    him like crap...
    daughter was 10 when she met him
    she always says he's the dad she never had...

    i wish you well.

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  21. I don't understand a Parent inflicting this on their children either. I hope one day there is a realization. Perhaps the kids will share their feelings with him too.

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  22. I think everything has been said here. P is for peace, and P is for POWER, I hope you will own both.

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