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Monday, January 17, 2011

On Growing Old

I am having a hard time getting back into the groove of things this year, after saying good-bye to my mother, 85, left to go back to her home, and lives alone. Seeing her physically deteriorating, I can't help but feel a pain stringing through my heart.

I need to start planning for my future, by putting down what I want concretely on paper.  You know, no resuscitation, burn me to ashes kind of things, so my kids will know what to do when the time arrives.


There were so many thoughts going through my mind about growing old, and my own future if I ever make it to my mother's age.  What will happen to me? What life do I have when I can't physically handle anything anymore? Will I depend on my children to take care of me? What will my emotional be?

I know for sure that my mother is deeply sadden, bitter, and lonely since none of her kids could live with her.  She has told me that many times she felt so ill and no one was around to even help her with a cup of water. However, she refuses to go into senior housing to be around others! She wants to live in her house.

This is a dilemma my family is facing at the moment, and as each year goes by; it's getting harder for us to find the best solution as my mother is only getting older.

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6 comments:

  1. She's not willing to move in with any of her children? It would help her and she'd get to be with them.

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  2. It is sooooo hard when they reach that point. It broke our hearts to put my in-laws in a care facility but they just couldn't do it on their own and it got scary.

    I worry about the days when I get to that point too. I don't want my kids to feel like I'm a burden, but I don't want to be shipped off to a home either. :(

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  3. Im so sorry that you are going through this, its a tough situation. My grandfather refused to live anywhere but his home even when there was no way he should be living alone. It was hard on everyone in the family and we took turns going over to help him. Most of the burden fell on my mother since she lived the closest. Its easier for us since we all lived less than 1/2 hr away. I hope you figure it out and find peace in your heart. I also gave you a blog award come check it out. God Bless yoU!

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  4. This is a very difficult situation Mumsy. My own parents are 88 and 84 respectively. Right now they are in very good health AND have one another. I am not sure what the future holds but I thank God every day that they are doing so well.

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  5. she has to find comfort where there is comfort. she is too stubborn to accept that the one she picked already has her hands full. maybe she needs to stop the torturing, but it is too late. too many years, too much scars.

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  6. Sorry that you have to go through this. Ancient am sure she would be so better of in a care home. She will have friends and company daily and that is what she needs. Don't feel guilty this is what she wants.

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