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Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Do I Exist?

I met T. at the University after my evening class, even though we had none together! I didn't exactly remember how, but we met and were quite immediately taken by each other. He learned my schedule, waited for me every evening, and walked me to my car!

It was the most innocent relationship in this universe! We only talked on our way to the parking lot, and through this short talk, I found out that he was a cousin to one of my friends at the orphanage. At that moment, the world seemed so small, and I was happy. T. told me that he talked about me to his cousin, my childhood friend, and knew that we had a connection before.

The next day I called my friend, and met up with her after 15 years of separation. She was not my two closest friends that I've mentioned before, but she was a friend that I often talked too. The irony was, she lived at the apartment complex that I had just quit, and with her aunt, along with T. and his brother.

Her aunt had total control over the three of them! Through my friend, I got bits and pieces of T.'s life. He worked two part-time jobs, and went to school at night. The aunt had also promised him in marriage to a girl from his own town. T. didn't like it but took it, and he would be married off next year.

While visiting my friend, her aunt came home, and we were introduced. Again, coincident surfaced! My friend's aunt and my big sister worked at the same school as ESL teachers. She asked several times, "What's your name?" Then assured me that my big sister had never mentioned that she had two little sisters living with her, just one!

She said, "N. never mentioned your name! She said she only have one sister, D." Yes, my heart was in pain, but I laughed it off. I told her it was ok. I told myself it was ok. I didn't exist! I was not important for anyone to remember. My friend's aunt was in shock and repeatedly said, "N. never said that she has a sister with your name..." as she walked away!

I went home, questioning myself, "Do I exist? Do I really exist?"

I'm literally taking these memes Pour Your Heart Out to the max!

(Read this series at Heart Of a Woman..) Registered & Protected


  1. You sure do exist know that now, you are a very strong voice, with strong feelings. Sure were a lot of coincidences.

  2. You certainly exist in my world, Mumsy, and lots of other people’s worlds. It is really bizarre how it all happened, but you will be OK. Thanks for warring with us.

  3. There are a lot of coincidences here, and I am not sure I believe in coincidences because I believe God has a plan and things do not happen per chance. He loves you and brought you through these ordeals for a purpose. God bless you and keep you. It certainly has not been an easy journey.

  4. I am questioning my own existence and if it even matters these days Mumsy. Always enjoy to read your blog.

  5. How strange that she wouldn't mention you.

  6. Visiting from Wednesday's Walk...

    What a very, real post (and blog) you have here!

    Your post reminded me of one of my very favorite songs which (in talking of the Lord) says, "He knows my name. He knows my every thought. He sees each tear I cry and hears me when I cry."

    you can see a You Tube video of it here:

    I really hope you have time to watch it!

    Blessings to you today!!

  7. I look at the picture of the flower you put in your post and I am blown away by the beauty that God created...and that includes you. We all are God's beautiful creations.

    Have a good Wednesday Mumsy!

    Linda @ Truthful Tidbits

  8. I agree with Linda... the flowers you post are beautiful!

  9. Mumsy, I think we all feel that way at times, I know I do and what happens as a result is you become stronger as a person. Love your flower shots and you certainly do exist in my world.

  10. It wasn't right. Seemed though that some people do a lot of wrong and not too many rights. Those people sometimes don't know when to stop or where the limit is. It's all tests of god as people would tell me.


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