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Sunday, September 19, 2010

Heart Talk-On Children

I receive an email from a close friend of mine expressing her irritations with the children. Nothing bad, really! It is just that as parents we couldn't count on our children to do the simplest thing that we've asked them to do. However, when they need help, we the parents always bend backward to see that we do it for them!

I can totally relate to my friend's feelings, and as they said, "been there, done that!" There were countless numbers when my requests ignored, or encountered the "bark back" attitude! It was either the timing was wrong, or the inconvenience of the task, or just plain not in the mood for my kids.

I'm not saying that as parent, I depend on my kids for anything! However, it seemed unfair when they can totally count on us for support, but when we need them for a smallest thing, it is a burden.

In the good old days, I was raised that when an adult asking you to do something, you do it! No excuse, no reasoning! It's no longer like that nowadays! Children now have total control and lots of power under their belts. One wrong move and the parent could just sit behind bars!

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  1. It is a terrible thing to say, but now days it seems you only hear from your children if they need something. No love or tender care involved. I have been blessed with a very caring son that is very helpful to me and provides for himself. It is hard to be patient.

  2. If my mother called me and asked me to do something, I would do everything in my power to do it. Children (adult and otherwise) seem to feel they are "entitled" to what they want and to say no to what we ask.

  3. My daughter is 11, and I am finding the biggest challenge is teaching her to be grateful and to show it by being kind and helpful. It's a tough one.

  4. I recommend the book and audios of Love and Logic. Parenting really has helped me understand a teen and understand how I can approach things. It has been great...and my teenager is doing things the first time I refreshing...even if it has only been a week.

  5. I'm so happy to hear that I am not the only Mother feeling this way. Seems like I never hear from them unless they need me for something, but I guess I did raise them up to be independent so...

    But it would be nice to just hear from them and spend time with them because they miss me too.

    Carol-the gardener

  6. Interesting post, very interesting.I am blessed to have two caring 'children' but if we are honest I don't think that any one of us can say that we haven't felt like that towards out children at some point or other.

    I think a great deal depends on how we raise them. Sometimes they get 'waylayed' especially when they first taste the freedom of being 'on their own' out there and in most cases, they do 'come back'.

    I have always made my children to understand that neither my husband nor I am their responsibility - I still have one at home who in her early 20s is studying - but I know from her outlook on life that whilst she will never see us as a responsibility she will ensure that our needs, if necessary are met. Sighs.........

  7. Thanks so much for stopping by! I'm following you back!

    I completely agree! Children now a days have too much free reign and not enough discipline! It's hard to raise kids in todays world!

  8. I too was raised in the good old days. Sorry, but so many of today's parents do not pay attention to what their children do. And disciple - forget about it!

  9. Always suprised by children of friends, who never say please or thank you and its not expected of them.
    Kids not expected to pick up after themselves at home nor do they chores to do ... maybe if there are no expectations from them growing up in the family to do things as part of the family - when they are older, they still only expect to receive since they have never been asked to give?
    We are trying very hard over here, to keep some old values - I hope our children benefit down the road :)

  10. Children need boundaries. They want to know when they have crossed the line. I was fairly strict with mine. They were disciplined but knew that they were loved more than life itself. No raised hand but enough deprivation of things they enjoyed to let them know when they went wrong.

    My darling late mother always told me that I was 'too hard' on my children!! I didn't think so. Compared to how she raised me, I was the fairy godmother!!

    And I always remember my father telling me when I said that he spoiled my children that 'that's a grandparent's right'!!!

  11. Actually the word the word my father used was 'prerogative'!!

  12. Hi,

    I agree with this. I'm lucky that only one of my kids seem to be this way. The other 2 I dont have this problem with. lol

    Thanks for coming by and following. Im following you back.

  13. Hi,

    I agree with this. I'm lucky that only one of my kids seem to be this way. The other 2 I dont have this problem with. lol

    Thanks for coming by and following. Im following you back.

  14. I agree, sort of... but it melts my heart when my 3 yr-old or 20 month-old come running over to give me a big hug and tell me they love me! All of my frustrations about them not listening go away!

    Thanks for joining the blog hop yesterday!

  15. I find a lot of children are like this now, yes, they are good and sweet, but when it comes to asking them for a favor, they are just not as responsive! It's like they don't have the pro-activeness to want to be accountable for anything@ Or is it just their personality?


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