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Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Christmas 1977

I despite my destiny sometime! It always has played such a twisted faith in my life. Out of nowhere, my brother brought home this friend of his, and we fell in love ignoring all obstacles. Yes, he was only a seminarian, but it was a sacred calling, and it was sin for both of us to even consider a relationship.

He came to stay with my family, and our families became connected. Asian's culture was weird that way! It was real that I loved him, and he loved me! He knew more than anyone else what he had gotten into, but I believed he was sincere with his feelings at the time. That was all mattered to me.


Four months went by without knowing anything about him. I received no phone calls or letters. I also stopped writing in my journal since it was too painful to think about him. I cut all activities and connections with others. I buried him deep inside as though he had never existed, and slowly the missing feelings also diminished. I told myself it was just a summer fling. It meant nothing, really!

By Christmas time, my parents planned a trip to the South to visit my seminarian brother, and to see if we could move to a warmer State. I was nervous, happy, excited, and on fire. A wide range of mixed emotions took center stage since I had a little hope of seeing him again. It was a wonderful dream, and a beautiful wish.


So just like that, I saw him at the movie theater when my brother took us out one night. The man I had missed and loved so much wasn't the same person I remembered! He got fat! He got a different attitude! I didn't think four months could change a person so drastically the way he had. His look for me was so cold and unfriendly. There was no love left!

He slipped me a note as we went inside the theater, and I had a feeling it wasn't good. It wasn't! He scribbled, "Please understand my situation, and hopefully one day we would have a chance to talk more. I know you're very mad at me, but it just has to be!"

For the life of me, I couldn't figure out why he transformed so much. Where was his love go? What happened to all the sweet things he had said before? Was it possible for a human to change how they felt so quick? If it was real love, and I was his first love, how could he just wipe me out like I didn't mean anything?

That Christmas my heart was broken in pieces, once again...

I'm literally taking these memes Pour Your Heart Out to the max!

(Read this series at Heart Of a Woman..)





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7 comments:

  1. This story is so touching. I think he let himself go and stopped caring about himself when he had to let you go....at least for that time. Life may be different now, as I am sure it is. At least you had that most amazing love feeling that could never be taken away...I think we all remember our first loves....forget the second encounter:)

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  2. I have often wondered why and how peoples feelings change. What makes them fall "out" of love. It begs the question: Where they ever in love to begin with?

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  3. that is why i hate surprises. you don't know what you are getting. i stopped hoping and expecting too at one point in my life because i know the impact of disappointment in my personal conviction in life. thanks for sharing.

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  4. awe... the things we go through, right?

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  5. I tend to agree. We take better care of ourselves when we are in love. I think he let go of himself because he knew he had to let go of the love - so sad.

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  6. He got fat? Man don't' you just hate when the guys get fat? Old and unattractive? "Cracking me up lady."

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