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Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Words Of Love

We both kept a little notebook to write our thoughts while we were away from each other. After his plan failed short, I had no hope of seeing him ever again. He couldn't call my house, and I couldn't call his seminary! We had no way of getting in touch without the other getting into trouble.

Through this little notebook that he sent to me to another address, I learned that while I was sick, he had to deal with the heartache also. He wrote how disappointed he was with his plan, how sad it was for him not able to see me, and how he would have to live without me. He wandered the street for a couple of days, and stopped writing in the notebook because it was too much pain that it caused him to cry. That was all I knew after he left.


In the fall of 1977, I signed up at a local college for classes. I plunged in with both hand and feet. Life went on as if nothing had happened. Love came and went like seasons changed. I tucked him in the corner of my heart and soul. I carried his promise, "You are the first and last girl in my life" as though it was in the bible.

I met new boys, and I flirted with new boys but when it got a bit serious, I backed out by the sheer fear of pain. I never thought that love could bring such devastation to my being. I missed him, missed his kisses, and missed the way he looked at me. Most of all, I just missed being with him, including all the laughter and tears.


I fed my mental with the note that I received from him! It seemed to be enough to know that he loved me too, even when we were apart, and had no future! I read it thousands of times! It went with me everywhere. It slept under my pillow! The note was him in a physical form! It was my only connection to this man who I've loved more than I knew how to love.

In our last rendezvous, he told me to forget about him since I was still young and there would be plenty of others waiting, though "this would make me sad", he said! However, after slipped the birthday card to me, and before he walked out of the door, he muttered, "Don't forget me!"

I nodded, and I've not forgotten him throughout the year...

I'm literally taking these memes Pour Your Heart Out, and Walk Down Memory Lane to the max!

(Read this series at Heart Of a Woman..)





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6 comments:

  1. I have someone too that I'll never forget from long, long ago. It is bittersweet.

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  2. It sounds like a contradiction - on one hand forget me, move on with your life; then parting words not to forget him. Isn't love like that?

    Beautifully written. Take care & God bless!

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  3. How sweet love could be with just the heart pounds and memories. Sweeter to have the real thing everyday though. Hope love will find you again soon.

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  4. enjoying your story each week! thanks for linking it up!

    ReplyDelete

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