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Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Love Sick

At 19, I was naive and believed in love! He was the first boy ever in my life. I knew he was a seminarian, but I didn't know why we both proceeded in a relationship that already had an ending written into it.

On my birthday, he left for his home town, and gave me a small greeting card swore that he would never forget me or the memories that he had with me. He decorated the front of the card with our initials intertwined into each other. I didn't cry and didn't show any emotions, but my heart was ripped apart in silence.



According to his plan, he would go to a seminary in Indiana for the upcoming school year, and he would drive to visit me on the weekends. I begged him to forget about us, and just concentrated on his studies. He was adamant that he couldn't live without me. We both cried. We both felt in the bittersweet of love, not knowing what to do.

His mother was determined that he had to become a priest no matter what. My family believed that no man could love a physically handicap person. Our mental stage was full of negative outcomes. We ran into one dead-end after another. Everything and everyone in life were against us being together.



A few days later, he called my brother with a bad new, and that his application at Indiana seminary failed through. He wouldn't be moving to Indiana anymore. The new came as if someone had just hit my head with a baseball bat. I felt physically ill. My inside was ripped right out of my body.

I was sick for two straight weeks, and all I had was just tears! I missed him in ways that he would never know. I missed him as if I could die. Our love affair had a deeper impact on me than I thought possible. I went to sleep with his image in my mind, and I woke up with his image in my head. He was everywhere!

The thought of him sent a pain through my entire body. I called out his name! I screamed in my throat for his being as if I screamed long and hard enough that he would return to me. The little girl in me believed in real love, one that would sustain for life...

I'm literally taking these memes Pour Your Heart Out to the max!

(Read this series at Heart Of a Woman..)





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12 comments:

  1. First love is terrible. The second ain't so grand, either. Or maybe I'm just feeling exceptionally cynical today!

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  2. You definitely leave us wanting more of your story! Be sure to link up tomorrow!

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  3. My dear sweet Mumsy ...

    You have definitely mastered the cliff hanger and once again I am flinching as I almost feel the depth of your pain by reading your words!

    What physical handicap could you possibly have that caused your family to surrender you to an orphanage and doubt anyone could love you?

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  4. My dear sweet Mumsy ...

    You have definitely mastered the cliff hanger and once again I am flinching as I almost feel the depth of your pain by reading your words!

    What physical handicap could you possibly have that caused your family to surrender you to an orphanage and doubt anyone could love you?

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  5. The first love is always the worst. What a life you've led Mumsy - I do so enjoy reading about it!

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  6. Ah such pain you felt, we can feel it through your words. {hugz}

    And I must say, I love the photos you use, they are soooo beautiful and bright.

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  7. Man this is good stuff!!~ So what happens, I can't take it..

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  8. Some never experience love at all and you had it but gave it up to a greater power. The sacrifice was so great for someone who sacrificed her entire life. God bless!

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  9. How sad...love is very painful at times. Don't give up hope though, it's your turn, Mumsy, I pray for you.

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  10. thanks for linking up... and like everyone has said, I can't wait for more of the story!

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  11. You are a very talented writer...how you tell your tale, certainly leaves a vivid image in the reader's mind and wanting more.

    Blessings & Aloha!

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  12. I am hooked, I can't wait to read more.
    Your story so filled with emotion and passion.
    first loves are like that, but last loves are forever.
    ~Jean

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