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Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Wild Berry In the Yard


Life is like music; it must be composed by ear, feeling, and instinct, not by rule.
Samuel Butler


The aim of life is to live, and to live means to be aware, joyously, drunkenly, serenely, divinely aware.
Henry Miller

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Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Awards Acknowledgement

Susan at Permanent Posies has recently passed on two awards to me, and I feel so honored with her generous gesture, and kind words especially when we have just met too.



The rules to the award are to post 10 random things about me, and pass these awards on to 10 other bloggers. My experiences in the past on this part have failed miserably. No one wants or have time to participate!

I will just acknowledge the awards before I forget, and a heart-felt thanks to Susan! May our friendship continue to bloom!

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Monday, June 28, 2010

Mouse In the Cupboard

Chapter 1-Final Part

Bella's nose was easily bleed and sensitive. Occasionally, she had bloody nose for no reason. It didn't need anything or anyone to touch it.

Gathering my books and my cornet, I came out to the dinning room table to eat my breakfast, and waited for my punishment.

Sure enough, my mom gave it to me without hesitation. "After school, I'd like you to vacuum the house, and you can't go to your friend's house or having friend over." She paused for a moment, then continued, "Also, I'd like a written explanation, one full page, on your behavior today."

"Vacuum the whole house?" I asked
"Yes, the whole house!" My mom replied

She made Bella's hair in a French braid, packed up Bella's book bag, and put lunch into it.

I gave Bella a mean mad look. It was her that got me in trouble. She wasn't all that good or harmless or innocent. She could be as bad as I am, some times.

My sister could punch, kick, and wrestle if she was mad enough. She could be a great actress, too. She pretended very well, and should be awarded an Oscar for her performance.

Bella stuck her tongue out at me. My mom saw what we did to each other, but she didn't talk much after that.

I had made my mom tense and sad. I could tell because she kept quiet all the way to school.

Maybe she would forget all about it by the time I came back from school.

Maybe some one would come over so I don't have to vacuum or write my confession!

How can I explain my behavior to my mom? It's not like I purposely wanted to make her mad. Am I a growing pain? Am I a bad boy? Why can't I behave sweetly?

Nothing seems right in the morning.

From my hair, my clothes, my food, to my musical instrument, they're all against me for some reasons. Doing what I like is easier than doing what I have to.

I am a boy with very little patience.

Everybody in my house should just go on with their business without me. Let me be! Leave me to find my way! Then, maybe I won't be such a Cougar!

On Tuesday and Thursday, my mom takes Bella and I to school since my dad went to play basketball early. We don't go on the school bus because my mom thinks I picked up too many bad words and bad habits.

Once, a high school boy showed me how to French kiss. He stuck his tongue down his girlfriend's throat.

I almost puked looking at them!

Another time, he showed me how to give a "hickey". He sucked on his girlfriend's neck like a vampire.

I was in second grade then. I went home and tested out on Bella, and my mom banned me from going on the bus since.

My dad dropped us off at school on his way to work on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. His office was only a quarter mile away from our school. It's better this way since I didn't like to be on the bus anyway.

On the way to school this morning, my mom, Bella, and I stayed quiet. We exchanged no words.

I'm escaping to school from this uncomfortable situation with my mom. At least I don't have to think about it for seven hours.

(Continue on Monday!)

This post is linked to Saturday Sampling!

Follow my story Mouse In the Cupboard

© 2010-This publication is the exclusive property of Mumsy at Raw Thoughts And Feelings.com/. It is protected under the US Copyright Act of 1976 and all other applicable international, federal, state and local laws. The contents of this post/story may not be reproduced as a whole or in part, by any means whatsoever, without consent of the author, Mumsy. All rights reserved.

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Saturday, June 26, 2010

Little Beauty In My Garden


I saw this beautiful, little lavender color flower in my front garden, where the soil is mostly clay. It grew at the same spot that I've planted gladiola two years ago. Only the gladiolus never sprouted, and this year this flower took its place.


I have no idea what it is called, but absolutely delighted to see two little flowers. They could have easily missed if I didn't pay attention. I am, however, attracted to any shade of purple, so these flowers got my full eyes.


Then this giant critter landed right inside of the flower while I took the pictures. It looked like earwig, but it could also be the great black wasp. I just wanted to snap a couple of pictures, and left the bug to do its business.


Anyway, I changed my mind about this bug after I got a few pictures, I shook it off since I didn't want it to eat away my beautiful flowers. I want to enjoy it for a few more days. Yes, I know, I'm bad!!!

This post is link to Camera Critters, and Today Flowers!





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Thursday, June 24, 2010

W is For Writing

The most difficult part of school for me was learning to print the alphabet neatly and perfectly. Every letter had to be a certain way. My aunt insisted on clear, straight up, and legible alphabet at all time. She would not accept any sloppy writing, including the numbers.

When I first learned to write, this area of study was my nightmare! My hands received red line marks from the beating ruler, and remained for days for me to remember. At times, I could even see a thin layer of blood surfaced underneath the skin. If my handwriting was not pretty then I had to sit at the desk to practice over and over again, until my aunt got physically exhausted of teaching me, or beating me.


Gradually, the ruler changed to thicker sticks. Sticks upgraded to the metal thing that we used to ring the bell for announcing school time. That "thing" was the most terrifying object of all for me. It was a round solid piece of metal! It was not pliable to the human flesh. It echoed and delivered the pain throughout the entire body. Tears, crying, and screaming were not allowed!

My aunt became very creative too in her ideas of perfecting my skill in handwriting! Instead of having me laid my hands flat on the table to receive the hitting, she later had me making fists to show my knuckles. The metal gong met the bones and loved them. My pain must had triggered a satisfying discovered in my aunt's mind, and from then on, my knuckles swollen up every day.


Since I was not allowed to make even a tiniest noise when she hit me with the gong on my knuckles, I developed a "killing look" with my eyes. I used to look at my aunt with hatred, anger, daring, despite, and testing. That look sometimes, sent a chill down her spine, and she would feel all my emotion as I lived it. That look was my weapon! She couldn't tolerate that look from me.

My knuckles grew big, very big compared to my entire hands. This memory was never erasing out of my mind because it was the physical evident part of my abuse life. Back then, being punished was not considered abuse, and as I have mentioned in the previous post, my aunt did what she thought was best to teach me.

Now, in my fifty, I am suffering from inflammation flare ups in my knuckles. On a worst day, my knuckles are all red, and no over the counter drug could take the pain away! So really, I have forgiven my aunt years ago, but forgetting is totally a different thing. They definitely don't go together.

Visit other entries at Jenny's blog, by clicking on the image below!


(Read my Childhood Series here!)





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Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Three Tones Orchids


I saw these orchids at Meijer and was taken by surprise at the three colors on them. You can see a bit of lavender, white, and yellow. They are gorgeous, and exotic in the garden area. The price for these orchid was very reasonable at $19.99.


These orchids look very hardy, and Meijer carried a variety of different orchids inside their store. The outdoor garden area has all the summer flowers, plants and bushes, which I didn't explore since was off track for a while with the orchids.



It's a wonderful feeling when you have to do chores, and get to enjoy beautiful sight at the same time. It makes it so worth the boring grocery shopping routine.




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Saturday, June 19, 2010

White Daisy


This white daisy is in full bloom all around! Summer is in full swing even though we have more rainy and cold days than sun shine and warm.


The storm we had last night leaving us with no power for more than half of the day. I was antsy without internet since I have been behind in visiting blogs, and returning comments.


We still have another storm brewing, and I am hoping it would pass us by without another day of power. I want to return to normalcy as much as possible.

Enjoy your weekend, everyone!

Visit Today Flowers!





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Thursday, June 17, 2010

V is For Vendetta

As I walked back to the field where my little sister waited, I crumbled the piece of paper in my hands making sure the paper was soft enough for her to use. It was a very rare and precious privilege to have paper, any kind of paper, to clean oneself. My sister didn't know that! She just wanted what she was used to at home.

The orphanage was in a chaos right after the sun light came up. It turned out that the paper my sister used to wipe her bottom was one of the boys' birth certificate. This boy was in my grade and had never liked me a bit, because we always seemed to be in competition with each other for better grades. He went out to the field to do his business, and spotted his birth certificate there. Of course, he had to report this incident to the nuns!


We all had to assemble in the court yard, and the drilling began! One by one, we were questioned, we were accused, and we were guilty! The punishment would be severe for the whole group, if no one stood up and took responsibility for his/her own action. Sometimes, we agreed to take it together, but this time, no one wanted to share the heavy burden!

I ducked the first round of questions, but then I confessed! It didn't matter that it was just a simple mistake. It was a big sin, and I just wanted my little sister to be free of the beating or punishment. When the owner of the birth certificate found out that it was me who stole, he couldn't stop attach other horrible things to my already big sin.


This boy had a huge vendetta against me, because I outscored his grades, and pushed him down to one whole level. He told the nuns that I plucked some grapes for my sister, that I served her a bigger portion for meals, that I used way too much water to bathe her, and so on.

I accepted all of his accusations! So what if I was punish? So what if I had to kneel longer? So what if I got a few more smacking? My sister was happy, fed, and bathed! They all so were worth it. Before the punishment was handed down to me, I even told this boy that I would do it again, and this time I would definitely look for his particular birth certificate, his baptism, and his communion papers to wipe my bottom!

Vendetta against vendetta! My sister went home after two weeks staying with me.

Visit other entries at Jenny's blog, by clicking on the image below!



(Read my Childhood Series here!)





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Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Multi-Colors Iris



Spotting this beautiful multi-colors iris in the front lawn of my daughter's school, and I was happy even though we were busy running errands to get her settled in to summer semester. While she went inside to finalize the paper work, I snapped away!



It was a beautiful sunny day, and the petals were sparkling under the natural light. Most of the iris around our area were already gone, but this beauty was planted near a huge oak tree, and the lack of sun light brought late blooming. Lucky for me though!



I don't go anywhere without my camera, and on a long tiring trip, it helps to capture some wonderful things and great memories to keep. This flower serves as a reminder of the building that my daughter is at for the summer of 2010.





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Saturday, June 12, 2010

Red-Factor Canary


I spotted this beautiful red canary at the pet shop where we purchase supplies for our pets. The color of this bird was just gorgeous. I have seen the green, yellow, and blue one before, but not the red one. So this was a treat!


This bird was in a cage, and behind the glass, so my pictures are not that great! I just sneaked in a couple of shots, and couldn't pass by without any photos.


This beautiful bird comes with a price tag over one hundred dollars. It was very lively, jumping and flying all over the cage.

Enjoy other entries at Camera Critters, and Bird Photography Weekly!

Thanks for being here!

Friday, June 11, 2010

I Won a Journal

I just want to do a quick post to thank Amanda at 32 Degree North Blog for the beautiful journal. I won this handmade journal a week ago, and receive it today.

It came wrapping beautifully like this.


After removing the wrapping paper, it looks like this.


Amanda has many beautiful, and special handmade gift at her store on Etsy. Take a moment to visit her blog to see more. Thank you so much, Amanda! It's my first win..ever!

Thanks for being here!

Thursday, June 10, 2010

U is For Undesirable Outcomes

My parents decided to send my little five years old sister to live with me and my aunt. I was thrilled and happy beyond words. Momma also sent two body pillows with her for us to have something from home. My little sister got to keep hers, but my pillow was confiscated, which made my sister mad.

She kept tugging at the pillow and yelled at my aunt to give it back to me. This girl had no fear, and had no idea how mean my aunt was. Despite my sister's effort, I had no body pillow, and begged my sister to give up the fight for fear of all punishments that would follow. However, my aunt seemed to hesitate and watchful in the ways she treated my sister than with me.


Just one week into her staying with us, my sister managed to bring more troubles to me than comfort. I had to watch over her every tiny move. She couldn't tolerate hunger, so I ended up stealing pieces of foods to keep her full. She refused to go outdoor alone for bodily function during the night, so I had to wake up to take her.

Then one night, I couldn't wake up to take her due to exhaustion, my sister wet the bed, and ran into my aunt's quarter, which only separated from us by a pulling curtain, to get something to dry herself. Little did we know until the morning that the materials she grabbed to soak her wet bed were my aunt's head gear veil and white bib. These were all parts of her nun's uniform!


I received the heavy beating for not watching over my little sister, and for taking my hatred out on my aunt by telling my sister to use her absolute must wear holy uniform to clean up Urine! It wasn't true, but if my aunt announced it, it was! She gave my sister two slaps on the cheek, and my sister cried for home.

The night right after this incident, my little sister needed to go to the bathroom again, and I forced myself to wake up to take her out in the field. She did number two! We, the orphanage children were used to just grabbed leaves to clean ourselves, but my princess sister demanded paper or else she would sit there all night.

Out of desperation, I went to the school to look for some paper. It was so dark inside the building, and my mind was under pressure with an image of a five-year-old sitting in the field waiting, so I just grabbed a piece of paper at the first table that I could feel in the night.

Visit other entries at Jenny's blog, by clicking on the image below!


(Read my Childhood Series here!)





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Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Gerbera Daisy in Macro


I have such a terrible time with blogger lately, especially yesterday when I tried to sign in to do my regular post, Mouse In the Cupboard. Nothing worked! I couldn't get in or leave comments. So much time was wasted in thinking that something was wrong with my computer.


With frustration was so high, I decided to just get out of the house and went on a flower hunt. This is another variety of Gerbera daisy. I can't decide what to call the color of this daisy. It's not exactly yellow, or orange.


The petals are like shredded paper, with pointy ends! I love this color since it reminds me of the children's little puppy, Honey. Her fur was kind of creamy, sandy, and honey in this tone.





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Saturday, June 5, 2010

Caught Flying


One of my challenges is trying to take action pictures, such as the flying seagulls. Since my point and shoot camera only has up to 7 megapixels, it is quite hard capture these beautiful birds in action. when it is so far up above.


I think these pictures turned out decent enough, and I'm happy to have a few photos. I didn't want to push my luck standing underneath them too long, after I saw another photographer received a big splash on his face.

Mind you, I held my giggles and the "eek, eww" until I was back inside the car. It was quite a sight!

Enjoy other entries at Camera Critters, and Bird Photography Weekly!



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