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Monday, May 31, 2010

Mouse In the Cupboard

Chapter 1-Part 3

Like mom and dad, like dog and cat, we disagreed to make one another crazy. If Bella said yes, I'd say no, and vice versa.

Bella was five years younger than I am, but she was very bossy, and acted like my big sister. She told me what to do and when to do it.

My parents loved her a little too much. Probably because she's a girl and she's the youngest. They thought that she's always innocent, sweet, and harmless.

She is hardly ever in trouble.

Bella woke up every morning cheerfully. She ate whatever my mom gave her. She did her routine happily like brushing her hair, washing her face, and brushing her teeth. Bella seldom complained about anything.

As I stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom, fussing over my hair, I thought of asking Bella for help to out of trouble. However, when I heard her voice, I changed my mind.

"Sidney, get out of there. I need to use the bathroom." Bella said.

I didn't answer. I wanted to be alone in the morning. No one should talk to me. No one should tell me what to do, and no one should rush me either.

Bella knocked on the door again, and I ignored her again. Then, she busted in. The door swung open, slapped into the wall, and bounced back at Bella's face as she walked in. It hit her nose, and gave her a bloody mess.

My sister cried!

I jumped and yelled, "Oh gosh...oh geez..."

My mom came running to the scene. She didn't say a word. She cleaned up Bella's face and helped Bella controlled the bleeding by pinching the tip of Bella's nose.

I was terrified by Bella's blood.

"Are you alright, Bella? Are you ok?" I asked. "I didn't do it mom, I didn't!"

My mom looked at me coldly. She signaled me to get out of the bathroom, the she said, "If you would just answer and open the door when she asked. It wouldn't happen."

"Yeah! Blame it on me! It's always my fault no matter what..." I snapped.

Digging a bigger hole for myself, I slammed the bathroom door against the wall on my way out. It wasn't smart, but I couldn't help myself. I didn't understand why I had to react this way.

I was too feisty!

Finding a reason or excuse for my behavior was almost impossible. My immediate action was just that, acting out my first frustrations, at the time I felt frustrated.

Nothing else mattered that much.

My mom said, "Sidney, you're really going to get it now!"

I looked back at her, "I know! What else is new?"

Going toward my bedroom, I started to feel bad for Bella, and most of all for the way I took it out on my mom.

(Continue on Monday!)

Follow my story Mouse In the Cupboard

© 2010-This publication is the exclusive property of Mumsy at Raw Thoughts And Feelings.com/. It is protected under the US Copyright Act of 1976 and all other applicable international, federal, state and local laws. The contents of this post/story may not be reproduced as a whole or in part, by any means whatsoever, without consent of the author, Mumsy. All rights reserved.

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Saturday, May 29, 2010

On Land, In the Water, and In the Air


I love this time of the year, when critters are out to play in great numbers. Wherever there is water, there will be ducks, geese, seagulls, and pigeons! It is great just to relax and watch these critters enjoying their lives.


At this particular pond, geese are in plenty, but very few ducks. I think like human, although they all seem to get along, they choose a certain area to call their own too.

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Thursday, May 27, 2010

S is For Sins

At the orphanage, we were required to go to confession every week for all Catholic children. We had to write down our sins on a piece of paper, and read them off to the priest when it was our turn.

If we didn't commit any sins, we made up some just so we had something to tell the priest! This part of our weekly chore was always very stressful for all of us because our sins remained the same from week to week. We couldn't make up more than:

  • I call so-so names
  • I am being mean to my friends
  • I didn't listen to adults
  • I didn't finish my homework
  • I cheat on my homework
  • I didn't brush my teeth as I was told
  • I had bad thoughts about so-so
  • I argue with my friends
  • I didn't help so-so
  • I laugh at so-so
  • I talk back to an adult

I believed everything we did, or didn't do, were sins! We made a note to write it down on our sin list so that by Friday, we would have at least 10 things to check off. Sad, but true! If our list was short, that only meant we were good children, which were not true in our caregivers' eyes, and who were we to challenge their roles or their demands.

We often copied each other's note. In other words, we copied each other's sins. We didn't know what the real sins were and what were not. We just did our part to come up with 10 sins each Friday, to stay clear of trouble this way.


Now, as a grown-up, I know killing, having an affair while married, and stealing are sins, but for all the small stuffs such as arguing, getting mad, calling names on occasion, are not considered sins. They can't be, can they?

I do not make my children going to confession for I am having trouble going myself. I tried, and each time I went, I found myself "going down the list" as I was taught long ago. I found myself making up sins to fill the time with my pastor, and they all felt so wrong to me.

I do take my children to go to communal ones twice a year just so we could be ready in our souls to celebrate Easter and Christmas.

Visit other entries at Jenny's blog, by clicking on the image below!

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Wednesday, May 26, 2010

White Impatiens


Life has taught us that love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking together in the same direction.
Antoine de Saint-Exupery


The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved -- loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves.
Victor Hugo

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Monday, May 24, 2010

Mouse In The Cupboard

Chapter 1-Part 2

My dad was more understanding and sympathizing than my mom. He treated my temper tantrum with a sense of humor by tickling me or teasing me about it.

My mom, on the other hand, restricted my outburst, and corrected my behavior. She said she would not tolerate my "talking back."

Talking back...satisfied my urge to release tension.

Talking back...was a way to express my irritations.

What was it that irritated me? Ask all the eleven-year-old boys!

I bet they didn't even have a clue why certain things and certain people ticked them off so easily.

After all, I was eleven and had no idea what was going on within myself.

Waking up in the morning was only half of a battle for me. They other half had to do with my appearance and hygiene.

Taming my hair was the biggest problem. It stuck out everywhere on my head. No matter what I did, it still stood out like porcupine quilts.

I wetted it, put gel in it, combed it through, flattened it down, sprayed it with super hold hair spray, but it wouldn't cooperate!

My hair had a mind of its own!

When I was in Elementary School, I didn't care so much about it. Now that I was a sixth grader in Middle School, I was very picky about it. And to go to school un-groomed was unthinkable, not to mention embarrassing.

I had a reputation to keep.

I had to maintain my popularity.


My other problem was boogers! Boogers of all sorts! Ears boogers! Eyes boogers! Nose boogers!

I resented them since they seemed to add to my morning aggravations.

Washing my face was not my first choice, nor a pleasure. I would rather licked the drool marks around my mouth, and picked those boogers by hand than splashing water on my face.

I had more fun picking nose boogers and flicking it around. The feeling of dried boogers between my fingers gave me a sense of accomplishment. I had conquered and secured a breathing pasage way for my nose.


On top of all, I loved to tease my little sister, Bella, with those boogers. She hated the sight of them. She'd scream, make faces, curl her small body together, and call for help.

Sometimes, pretending to flick the boogers at Bella made me laugh because she would run far away, and would hide from me.

Usually, Bella retreated to crying to get me in trouble with my parents.

Like mom and dad, like dog and cat, we disagreed to make one another crazy. If Bella said yes, I'd say no, and vice versa.

She knew how to use her "girly" weapon, even though she's only six years old.

My sister and I love each other very much, but we also argued all the time. It's like a spreading disease that had no cure. We constantly quarreled.

(Continue on Monday!)

Follow my story Mouse In the Cupboard

© 2010-This publication is the exclusive property of Mumsy at Raw Thoughts And Feelings.com/. It is protected under the US Copyright Act of 1976 and all other applicable international, federal, state and local laws. The contents of this post/story may not be reproduced as a whole or in part, by any means whatsoever, without consent of the author, Mumsy. All rights reserved.

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Saturday, May 22, 2010

Little Bee On Purple Flower


I have no idea what this flower is called, but was drawn to its color immediately after I saw it. The plants grew quite tall, and thick. They were full of these beautiful purple color flowers, and yes, a magnet field for bees of all sizes.


While taking pictures of this flower, I just wanted to avoid getting sting since the buzzing around me was fiercely. I spotted this little bee only after uploading the pictures onto my computer. It was a pleasant surprise.


The bee was busy with its job, and so was I. We both left each other alone to do what we do best. I found that when I was among the bees, they didn't bother me at all. I tried to stay as still as I could and got away as soon as I can.

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Thursday, May 20, 2010

R is For Resentments

Resentment is something I knew well and on a personal level. Even as a young age, especially after I was sent to live with my aunt, I held a grudge against the world as a whole. Yes, I often asked "why me", but found no solutions to why I was the chosen one, I tried to make the best of my situation.

My mom gave birth to a healthy, and normal baby me, but due to the doctor's negligence, I became disable! I resented him for that! I blamed him for contributing in making my life hell when I was down and beaten in spirit.


I resented my aunt for her nonsense blaming, and beating! Every little thing I did or said, turned her into a mad woman. I was frighten even with her shadow or hearing her voice. At times, it felt like I was tipped toeing on a tight rope. I couldn't do anything right. I couldn't find any words to say that would make her happy.

I resented my destiny, and the people who said "you make your own destiny!" It's easier said than done!


I resented my parents for putting me in the care of my aunt. When it was weekend, my dad came to bring me home for a visit, but I refused to go home just for two days. He sent my uncle to come and to get me, and again I refused just so he knew how I felt. I begged him to let me come home, but he didn't think the "real world" was ready for me.

I didn't tell my dad much about what my aunt had done, and hid all the beating marks on my body! I was afraid that he would think of me as a bad child and blew my chance of ever going home again.

I resented many things and many people, including my own life!

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Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Another Mystery Plant


Be nice to people on your way up because you'll meet them on your way down.
Wilson Mizner


Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.
Albert Einstein


Have a great day!

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Monday, May 17, 2010

Mouse In The Cupboard

Chapter 1-Part 1

I'm Sidney Floyd Broncovich, an eleven year old, normal growing sixth grader, who has black hair, black eyes, and tan skin. My height and weight are perfectly average according to my doctor's chart.

When I was younger, I was easier going, and was not in trouble that often. In fact, my mom said I was sweet and was a good listener.

Sweet? I couldn't imagine being a sweet boy at any time!

Good listener? That too, could not be possible.

My mom called me Cougar, and sometimes Tiger because of my pesky and perky personality.

This morning, like most morning, I found myself in a hot situation for challenging my mom's patience.

At about 7:00 o'clock, she came into my bedroom to wake me up for school. No matter how soft or sweet her voice was, I still managed to find it bugging.

I hushed her to be quiet.

My mom kept on tapping my shoulders, "Wake up, Cougar! It's time for school."

I "sh" her again. I couldn't stand any noises in the morning.

She peeled the blanket off my body, "You're going to be late! Come on."

The cold air brushed over my skin, and I lost control of my temper. I kicked the covers off my bed, "Alright, alright, already. Gees...Gosh..."

My mom passed a quick look at me, "Pick up your covers and make your bed..."

"I know! I know!" I interrupted.


Stamping my feet around, I murmured over and over my two favorite words, "Gosh...Geez.."

"You are going to bed early tonight." My mom shook her head and said. "Such a grumpy person."

I made faces at her and repeated, "Such a grumpy person! Gosh...Geez!"

My teasing voice, pouting lips, and wrinkling nose made my mom uneasy.

"Watch it Cougar! You're skating on thin ice..." She warned.

"What ice? I'm up! I'm making my bed. I am changing my clothes. What else do you want from me?" I asked mockingly.

"A nicer attitude, maybe?" My mom replied.

"Maybe you should just leave me alone!"

As soon as that sentence came out of my mouth, I knew I have pushed my mom too far.

She rolled her eyes, looking at me angrily, "What did you say?"

I walked out of the bedroom, mumbling, loud enough for her to hear me, "Just let me do my jobs already."


My mom followed me down the hallway to the bathroom. She was angry, and when she was angry, she wasn't going to be quiet about it. She had to lecture me. She had to torture me for this action.

I knew what was coming, and yet I couldn't stop myself from this nagging urge to mouth off.

My mom stood in front of the bathroom door while I stepped inside.

"Mom! I need some privacy here!" I raised my eyebrows.

She sighed, "You know, I had just about enough with your nastiness."

I closed the bathroom door.

Yes, I was in trouble. Big trouble!

I was not a morning person by any mean. Everything and everyone irritated me easily. My mood changed from one minute to the next.

Snappy and cranky should have been my middle name instead. My mom gave me those nicknames for a very good reason. It fitted me well.

My family knew I had short fuses. It didn't take much to trigger me into a rage. I could blow up any time, any where, and any day.

(Continue next Monday!)


© 2010-This publication is the exclusive property of Mumsy at Raw Thoughts And Feelings.com/. It is protected under the US Copyright Act of 1976 and all other applicable international, federal, state and local laws. The contents of this post/story may not be reproduced as a whole or in part, by any means whatsoever, without consent of the author, Mumsy. All rights reserved.

Thanks for being here!

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Pink Shrimp Plant


This pretty pink flower is called shrimp plant, and in honor of Pink Saturday's two years anniversary, I am uploading more pictures than normal just to show how beautiful these flowers are.


To my understanding, this is a tropical plant, growing inside a warm and humid environment. They come in deep red, white, and vibrant yellow also.


The flowers grow in clusters of five and three each. I am a bit bias when it comes to unusual flowers or plants. I think they are so very unique and special.


My internet is acting up lately, and my browser won't cooperate either. I took me forever to get this post up. For more information on these beautiful shrimp plant flowers, do a search and you will have more to read about them.

Check out other entries at Pink Saturday!

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Thursday, May 13, 2010

Q is For Quiet Quitting

As my friends tugged and pulled on the gate, I tried as hard as I could to squeeze through the opening of the hole, but it was to no vail. I even crawled on the ground trying to fit myself through the hole when we thought that it was bigger at the bottom of the gate. We tried all the different directions, different positions, and different possible ways, but nothing worked out for us.

Time had also run out! If we were to escape, we must be far away from the orphanage by 5:00 o'clock, since many people were up to do their chores at that hour. We had lost an hour trying to get me through the gate, but my friends wouldn't give me up until I begged them to.

In my desperation, I saw my parents' faces of sadness, worried, and painful expressions. I also knew my friends deserved a better life than in this orphanage, and didn't want to hold them back.


I gave in to my destiny! I rushed my girl friends to quickly run! They had no time left to make the distance that needed to not get caught and brought back. We cried quiet tears. We took in each other faces for the last time. We surrendered to defeat. We swallowed the bitter taste of quitting. Our hearts ripped into pieces.

I pulled my body back into this side of the gate as my friends slowly walked away with tears streaming down on all of our faces. They walked with their heads turning back toward me. I stood at the gate waving good-bye until I couldn't see their shadows anymore. That was the last time I ever saw them in my life.


The first two letters arrived a few weeks later. They made it to the big city, and settled in a rented house, and of course, with an invitation for me to join them there any time, but we all knew that was an impossible task for me to achieve by myself. Then they either stopped sending letters, or the letters were confiscated. I never heard from them again!

Life in the orphanage without my two best friends were very depressing. I was already 13, and refused to talk or to even interact with anyone. I only used my big head to shake for no, and to nod for yes in answering after that night.

Everything changed after my friends ran away. Nothing seemed to make sense. The beating and punishments also became painless to my numb skin. I withdrew from life and took on a silent vow!

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Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Mystery Plant


To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funnybone.
Reba McEntire


Have a heart that never hardens, a temper that never tires, a touch that never hurts.
Charles Dickens





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Monday, May 10, 2010

Red Orchid

School year is coming to an end, and with many activities going on right now, I have very little time. My little boy's teacher also has asked me to tutor Math to a few kids that were falling behind. So I volunteer my time to help since they are going to Middle School next year, and I don't want to see them lost in the shuffle.

Between times, I love to drop by my local nursery to just enjoy the wonder of nature. It relaxes me.


This red orchid, or at least I think it is orchid, is getting a dose of sun shine and was screaming to me for attention. When I walk into a nursery, I usually looking around and waiting for something to speak to me.


With so many flowers in the nursery, it is hard to pick out which one to shoot. So this orchid helps me when I have very little time on my hands. I took the pictures, only three, and away I go to finish my chore.


I love the way this orchid looks under the sun roof of this nursery! It was just fantastic and breath-taking. Hopefully, when things calm down I will have more time to visit the nursery again soon.


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Saturday, May 8, 2010

Seagulls


Feeding the critters at a local water stream was one of favorite things for kids to do. It was fun to watch these critters fighting, yapping, and flying all around us.


These two birds were shy, and stayed away from feeding frenzy. They rather soaked in the sun light than having a fight with other critters.


I came as close as I could to take their pictures. They slowly walked away from me, but remained together. I love it when I see their loyalty and faithfulness to one another. It's a beautiful thing!

Enjoy other entries at Camera Critters, and Bird Photography Weekly!



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Friday, May 7, 2010

Just Shy


Go ahead, guess who I am!
I am this pretty
If you ever look at me
In different perspective


I am still very shy
In my early blooming stage
Of hundred flowers around
I was choosing to be a star!


So have you guessed yet
Who am I? What am I?
I shine under the sun
And grow on my own, happily!

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