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Monday, April 12, 2010

My Emptiness Syndrome

Holy Week threw me off for a loop, with so many things to do, and obligations to fulfill. Though there was nothing out of the ordinary; it just seemed hectic and chaotic somehow. Then, I hit a withdrawal period with a feeling of emptiness as my daughter went back to her school. It was odd when I should have gotten used to the idea already. I thought I got a hold on that sort of feelings, but apparently, it still hit like a ton of brick once in a while.

I was behind, in everything, blogging, commenting, cleaning, laundry, cooking! After taking a deeper look into my soul and found no answer for how I felt, I've assigned a name for it, as many people did, "The emptiness syndrome!" Or whatever it was, it was eating me alive for couples of days!


I still have a little one as home, and he was on spring break! We tried to stay busy by working in the garden whenever the weather permits. We went to the movie once, rented a few videos, and ate out on those soccer practice days.

I realize that by keeping busy, the feelings of emptiness didn't go away either! They surfaced when I have a quiet moment to myself! I knew I have lots of things to do but I couldn't bring myself to do it. There was no spirit in me, and I just went through the motion to get things done.


Friday night, I managed to finish a few assignments after days of dragging my feet. Slowly, I am falling back into my own habitual routine. That emptiness feelings seem to calm down and leaving my mind slowly until next time. For now, I'm marching on!

Thanks for being here!


7 comments:

  1. And I have been quite distracted of late and have failed to keep up with my blog friends!

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  2. M, Do you ever read the bible? When I want to fill my soul, I particularly like Psalms, Proverbs, Isaiah and Solomon.

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  3. Mumsy, You have so eloquently expressed longing/emptiness feelings that I resonate with (as you know). Some times I think they are just triggered by grief (small or large) - like your daughter going back to school. I'm behind too and I feel discouraged when the things I normally enjoy or find fulfillment in become a burden. I guess I am most grateful that there is a Father in heaven who does not find anything I think and feel to be surprising. He knows me inside and out. And cares deeply. Hope both of us find our spirits lifted soon. PJ had some good advice, didn't she.

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  4. Mumsy, sometimes we just have to go through the motions until things get better. I have found that He is the strongest when we are at our weakest as He draws us to Him.

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  5. What PJ said. I find connecting spiritually fills that void and calms my soul.

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  6. Mumsy, I had the same feelings over spring break. I sat amongst hundreds of people (at the dreaded water park I wrote about) and often felt empty and alone. I feel worn down by life lately, too, and try to just shake myself back to full-capacity, but the truth is, it's not working.

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  7. Well Mumsy, if it's any consolation, I feel overwhelmed all the time! It never stops. I think I experience some emptiness once in a while but not as drastic as yours. Cheer -up ;-)

    ReplyDelete

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