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Thursday, April 1, 2010

K is For Kindness

However terrible my aunt was to me, she also had a very kind heart. I might never understand why she treated me harshly, but I knew she was a very good person to many others. She went home to God a few years ago, and I had forgiven her.

Was it a sin to treat someone badly when that was all she knew how to bring me up to be a good person? I came to the conclusion that what she did to me was just her strange way of showing love, and I would like to leave it at that to release her soul!



My aunt was a nun, and grew up in the convent setting since she was very young, on her own free will. She received her calling at a very tender age, and followed it without hesitation. Her whole life was devoted to God and to do God's work. She had lived in unimaginable environment, and was tortured by the Communists of her time.

After she was assigned to lead an orphanage way in the country side, where I first came to live with her at the age of seven, I remember she often came back from her early morning duties at the church with a bundle of wiggly thing in her arms, and all other nuns would rush to help her with it.

Most of the time, the wiggly thing turned out to be a baby that she found on the road, or in a garbage bin. Once in a while, she brought back a dog or a cat. No one in the orphanage could top the numbers of living things that my aunt had saved. She had a very distinct intuition where to find "discarded" infants. That was her special trade mark!


I believed because of her special trade mark that was how Captain Cook found her. The infants she brought back to the orphanage were all half Americans. They were literally "tossed away" from desperate mothers who were either raped or tried to make a living. My aunt was known for taking in these "mistakes", and some babies were even giving directly to her at the gate.

She was a very generous, loving, and kind-hearted person. If I hold her responsible for abusing me, then all the things that she had done for other children were more than enough to allow her sitting by her beloved God. I'm convinced so.

Writing out my bad experiences and what my aunt did to me were a way to let those memories go. I don't hold grudges against my aunt. In fact, I want her to be in heaven for all the other good things she did.

Check out other entries at Jenny's blog!



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26 comments:

  1. It's always best for us to think that our caregivers did the best they could by us. I like your attitude.

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  2. "however terrible my aunt was to me, she also had a very kind heart."

    The juxtaposition of these words, this sentiment took me by surprise. You have grown and forgiveness is a very powerful tool. Does it make it right what you endured? NO! But you have risen above and found your heart in the process. God bless you now and forever.

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  3. The power of forgiveness is amazing. I hope to learn it better.

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  4. What a generous spirit you have towards your aunt.

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  5. I am so sorry you have suffered. I hope this time of the year brings you special peace. Happy Easter and thanks for stopping by to see us. -- Jane F.

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  6. You are a kind soul to be able to look beyond your own borders of pain. Your aunt's dichotomous personality must have been painful and confusing when you were a child.

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  7. That's amazing, Mumsy. Kindness begets kindness.

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  8. so glad you have moved on from her! :D

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  9. I agree with viki. You have a generous spirit towards your aunt .

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  10. What a thought provoking post. I am in awe of your tolerance and understanding. I'll be back to read more...

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  11. I can't begin to understand how confusing this must have been to you, the incredible abuse that your aunt heaped upon you and the tender care that she gave unwanted and abandoned babies and animals. She must have been a tortured soul herself, and you are such a strong person to be able to forgive and move on. Bless you Mumsy! Kathy

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  12. I am glad you found forgiveness in your heart....I often wondered that, and now I know. You too are a very good person. Too many harbor resentment and hate, and that stays with you for life....obviously it did not with you. Have a wonderful Easter with your family. Debbie

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  13. I don't know that i have the capacity to forgive as you do ... I am actually in awe of your ability to forgive ... maybe forgiveness was her lesson to you ... i dont know, its all so perplexing, but i do know that i am in awe ... good on you Mumsy!

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  14. Your forgiving heart humbles me. Thanks for being an inspiration!

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  15. Wow, M! This was extra interesting for me. I believe you are so right - your aunt loved the best way she knew how at the time.

    It's what I learned from my childhood. Most of us do the best we can at the time. When we know better, we do better.

    All of your experiences make you who you are; someone with empathy, understanding and a big bunch of love to share.

    Happy Easter! Have a glorious weekend!

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  16. Mumsy, I cannot imagine what it is to be hurt by someone whom you also saw to do much good. But I know the healing power of forgiveness. Thank you for your testimony of it here. You are a dear and precious woman.

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  17. wow...very powerful.
    and so brave for sharing.

    Thanks for stopping by *my* kindness entry. very different from your's!

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  18. I admire you for being able to forgive. It's something I'm still working on in several areas of my life. I'll be back to read more of your story.

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  19. What an inspiring post. I am sure your aunt is spending her eternity praying for you. Your forgiveness is amazing. Thank you for sharing.

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  20. Without forgiveness you can never move on.

    So I think you are wise and brave.

    And I admire your steadfast determination to keep looking forward to a better place.

    You are a wonder!

    Thanks for making this journey through the letter "K" on Alphabe-Thursday so rich with emotion and feeling.

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  21. I really enjoyed this post. It was very well written and inspiring. May our Lord continue to be with you. God bless, Lloyd

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  22. I agree with all the others Mumsy! This particular post is powerful for it's contradiction of resentment and respect at the same time! R&R baby! Good job on letting go...an absolute sharpened attitude.

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  23. Without forgiveness, we have nothing! You are an incredible woman - your forgiveness is evident.

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  24. I guess the alternative is to be a bitter, unhappy person. I don't know if I could have found forgiveness in my heart like you.

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  25. I can just imagine what kind of things she endured being a nun in such terrible times....If you are able to forgive her, then so am I , though I HATE any kind of abuse to any child....Happy Easter and much love to you and the little girl in you that wishes your aunt welll.......

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  26. Nessa had said: It's always best for us to think that our caregivers did the best they could by us. I like your attitude.

    I couldn't have said it more eloquently and am in agreement with that statement.

    Blessings... Dawn... The Bohemian

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