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Monday, February 15, 2010

I Power Raw Thoughts and Feelings

I have been blog hopping like mad these last two months to find blogs that I can relate to, and what I learned left me baffling in my effort to understand.

A blog or site, to me, belongs to that blogger, and it's that blogger's home, a personal space. With that said, when I arrive on a blog, I respect that person's feelings, thoughts, and expressions. I wouldn't come to someone's house and ask that person to change how things are in his/her home to suit my taste. It's just simply wrong!

So do you want to know what left me baffled? Maybe not, but I will tell you anyway. I had been quiet, and silenced for all my life about what happened in my past. I finally summon up all my courage to write about that experiences, and release those suppressed feelings of shame, inadequate, unloved, unwanted, plus millions other questions that floated around in my head for all these years.

Having these "negative, depressing, bad experiences" I understand and relate totally to the person's need to let them out.

I cross paths with these bloggers, and sometimes I read these kind of comments below.

  • Living in the past
  • Too depressing to read
  • Don't write negative things
  • Move on with your life
Come on, I mean if a person takes time to write their REAL LIFE DRAMA out, don't you think that he/she have jumped over all of those hurdles already? If they were still living in the past, didn't move on with their life, would they still be here to write about it?

I respect people that use their imagination to make up a great story, but I respect those that went through hell and back, and wrote out their true experiences much more. Yes, I agree that these REAL STORIES are sad, depressing, awful, and terrible some time, but these stories have deep volume. They MIGHT help someone out there to feel that they are not alone or crazy in their thoughts and feelings.

I wouldn't ask a fantasy writer to write his/her true life drama if he/she never has one or experiences one. So for those that can't handle this sort of story, respect the bloggers that write out their RAW THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS.

Personally, I am very lucky so far with my story. I have great support, understanding, compassion, and very loving comments from my new found friends in blogland. To those, I'm very grateful, and deeply touched! Thank you! Registered & Protected


  1. Mumsy -- I know what you're saying. I do notice that most blogs I visit seems as if they are something out of Candyland where everything is sunshine and lollipops. It's all about rosebuds and the newest decorating idea, and I wonder where the actual life is, where the actual person is.

    I have some real, fresh pain in my life at the current moment, myself. I have chosen not to write much about it on my blog for a couple of reasons. First, really, at this point in my life, I have realized that most people simply will not measure up to my hopes and expectations of understanding, patience, and compassion. Perhaps that is unkind to say out loud, but I have come to realize that, often, the more of my pain I put out there, the more "misunderstood" or ignored I become and then, in turn, I become resentful and withdrawn.

    My pain is from a source difficult to explain or to understand unless you're living it. I have stopped expecting others to understand it or to help me with it (except, of course, for true, true friends, but we're talking here about the blogosphere at large). This limits the scope of my exposure and, in turn, the reactions I expect back.

    Another reason why I my blog does not necessarily reflect my actual emotional state is that I have chosen to make my blog an exploration of the other things I am. I am more than someone wounded and hurting. When I began my blog, I felt I was drowning in my own self-awareness. It was all I thought about, my situation, I mean. I deliberately write about other things to revive those other things in myself . . . in an effort to refocus my attention on other aspects of my life. Does that make sense? It's not that I'm trying to portray only sunshine and lollipops so much as I am, though, trying to focus my own attention away from the pain and onto other things happening in my life.

    None of this is to say, though, that there is a place for unwelcoming, negative comments. But you know by now, that is life and that is how people can be. But it's not okay. I'm with you. The most important thing my own difficulties have taught me is to always be supportive. You really have NO idea what the other person is going through, so be supportive and give the hurting person the credit for their own feelings.

    As far as "real" blogs. I have been enjoying Egmont's blogs. "The Artist Within Us" and "Four Seasons in a Life." If you haven't found his blogs, I have a link to one on my blog and you can find the other from that one. He is real and I find him wonderful.

    All the best, Mumsy.

  2. Well said, Mumsy. Personally, I think what you write is very beautiful, intimate, and moving. With that said, that is why I gave you a shout out on my blog. I don't know if you "do awards" but I have one if you want it. Love you!

  3. I agree, people blog for different reasons....some blog for social networking, some just to exchange recipes, compare notes on raising kids, or pregnancies....i mean, there are a million variations.

    I use mine as a confessional at times...which to use YOUR words...can be quite "RAW" times.

    I don't expect anyone to comment and "fix me" with what they say. I don't expect an answer to come magically that will take the hurt away....

    once i blogged about a incident that nearly happened to me that wrecked me for some time. here's the link if you want to read it:

    anyway, while it was really, really hard for me to write, I thought if it helped just ONE person, then it was worth bearing my soul for....besides, I needed to confess to my own stupidity in order to hold myself accountable for what happened so that "I" could find a way to move on.

    I left you a comment of course on my blog in response to yours, but wanted to come here and read what my new RAW fellow blogger was all about. I think I might just go and click the "follow" button upon finishing this comment.

    Pleasure to meet you.


  4. I say don't worry about the people that don't understand. When you're putting yourself out there, you're likely to get stomp on somewhat. Just have thick skin- Keep on doing what you're doing, it's your home, like you say, you've created it, and you are living it, and anyone that appreciates your content will understand you.

  5. I would direct those critical people to the "Next Blog" button and politely tell them to go jump in a lake. Your blog, your rules!

  6. Well said. Writing for me is very personal and always has been. I enjoy sharing the good and bad with fellow writers. True writers respect each other's views and thoughts. For those who don't, they are not true writers.

  7. I marvel at those persons who set themselves up as the Chair people of Philosophy for the Blogosphere. They really are bores. I suggest deleting their comments in the same way you would remove trash from your front walk. If they cannot be respectful, they should not be permitted to stay.

    My own discovery along the way is that the individuals most likely to know everything are the ones who have totally botched up their lives in the 3-D world. Pity them and the noise in their heads that prevents them from respecting your gift for what it is.

  8. Hi Renee,

    Thank you for sharing with me your feelings, and I hope one day you'll be able to writing it out. It could help someone out there who is going through the same thing, or at least give them a companionship in reading yours..Also, I will check out the links you're recommending..thanks!

    5th Sister,

    You have a beautiful soul, and thank you for your support and love. Life is beautiful with you in it!

    Hi Heather,

    It's good to meet you! There are other silence voices out there that would benefit from those that take a stand to tell it like it is.

    Hi SelfSagacity,

    Great advice! I do have thick skin, literally, so I'm ok in that department :-) Thank you for your support!

    Hi Julie,

    I love that button, and the X button at the top right corner :-)

    Hi Poetic Shutterbug,

    Oh I your attitude! Some think that they are writer and having authority over others..

    Hi Sandy,

    Love what you've said here: "the individuals most likely to know everything are the ones who have totally botched up their lives in the 3-D world." That's so true!

    Thank you all for coming by.

  9. respect is honorable and there is power in compassion and compassionate words. what is the old saying, walk a mile in their shoes.... the only way to truly understand.

  10. Mumsy, very good post! Thank you for being transparent and putting it out there. Also, appreciate your recent comments on my blog of encouragement, helps a lot. Blessings!

  11. Mumsy, sometimes we make friends with people who aren't good fits. Sometimes we get comments that don't fit who we want to be as writers. Let them both go :).

  12. Hello Mumsy. Its nice to let your feeling go.
    Keep writing. You are really good!

    Have a great day my friend.

    (Got sick lately but I'm okay now.)


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I write what I feel, how I feel and whatever I like at the moment


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