Please update this blog URL to:
Thank you so very much!!!

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

The Hidden Words

The only way I knew how to communicate was to write in my diary everyday! Wrote it down, and hid it after! If he ever read what I wrote, which he did many times, he would convince me that I felt it wrong, or that I shouldn't feel that way. That heavy guilt of wrong feelings slowly gave way to the disappearance of me once again.

Thoughts crossed my mind on occasions, and I curiously wanted to know why my feelings were always wrong, but his feelings were continuously right? What I wrote down in my own diary was what I owed myself to express or recorded the moment I felt it. Were what I wrote down a threat or a fear to him because it proved that I was a human after all?


Although my diary as I lovingly called it caused more trouble to my relationship, I couldn't stop writing in it. I sneaked around to voice my emotions in it when he was away, and hid it when he was around.

He knew that I loved to write, but after the courting time died and we lived together, the constant "your writing is suck, I don't understand what you're writing" shot out like fire crackers on the fourth of July. Yes, I admitted, English was not my native language, and my grammar had a long way to go to perfection, but writing was in my blood.


At 17, my stories and poems were published in different magazines. Granted, the magazines were published in my own language, but to me they were great accomplishments. I was even voted as one of the most promising rising writers of my time. He knew that!

The hidden words became very powerful, and they wouldn't stop burning in my heart or soul. They only stacked up, filed in my subconscious, collected and saved for the time being.

What one person writes or expresses is that one person's right to his/her own feelings and thoughts. There is no right or wrong about it.

Thanks for being here!



6 comments:

  1. That was beautifully written and wise words to heed, indeed!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Writing for the writer is the same as breathing. To love is to let it be.

    ReplyDelete
  3. It's great that you've found where to write and where people appreciate your writing. If writing is your love, then you are having much more fun than a lot of people who don't like what they do. May god bless you Mumsy.

    ReplyDelete
  4. It is horrible to be demeaned for doing something you love. Mumsy, a hug to you!
    xxAmy

    ReplyDelete
  5. You keep on expressing yourself. You are right - your feelings are never wrong.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Out of curiosity, what's your native tongue?

    ReplyDelete

I promise to visit you soon! But if your profile isn't public, and if you use GOOGLE+ comment form, I won't be able to return comment!

***LINK IN COMMENT WON'T BE PUBLISHED!!!***

I write what I feel, how I feel and whatever I like at the moment

MAKE IT BETTER!

Total Pageviews

  © Ourblogtemplates.com 2008

Back to TOP  

Pin It button on image hover