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Friday, February 24, 2012

Panicking or Hypertension?

Have you ever waked up in a manic stage as though you don't know what date it is, or what you suppose to do? I have, every freaking morning! I woke up in a rush, with my heart pounding so hard, and my mind was buzzing as if it was in a speed car race.

What is it? I don't know! I just wake up in a panic, and I have to talk to myself to calm down, slow it way down so I take a breath. Am I panicking or do I have hypertension? Whatever it is, I sure don't like waking up like this.


I am at peace with myself, my situation, and my life, so I thought! Money is never enough to go around to pay the bills, but I work to minimize all spending, and keep a roof over my head. I completely ignore all the needed repairs for my house and my car. Since I don't have the mean to fix them, why worry? Why beat myself to the point of no mercy?


Every morning, I am forced to talk myself out of this manic stage, and tried to fill in the blanks, such as today is...it's garbage day, take out the trash...take my little one to school, pay the bills, go to the market. Simple things like these have to take root in my mind to slow myself to a normal pace.

I don't know what happens to me, and moreover, I don't want to wake up like this! I just know that before I go to bed, my day was complete and my feelings were pleasant with everything and everyone.

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4 comments:

  1. oh no! yes, I know exactly what you are describing, and yuck, I wouldn't want to wake up like that every day either!! I wish I had some trick to beating that, but alas, all I have is the prayer for a less startling beginning, and keep the great attitude up about the rest :)

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  2. Awww... You know, I used to be the same. And as I am a teacher, and used to have a long commute, I had to wake up at 5am feeling like that. Needless to say I was ready for bed by noon!
    I make a pact with myself to wake up EARLIER so I could spend some time winding down. A good cup of tea, a nice book, a heartfelt prayer...20 minutes did the trick! I highly suggest it!

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  3. hope things get better for you Mumsy, and you wake up calmer, I admire you for your strength and positive attitude.

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  4. Sounds like anxiety or panic attacks. I had those when I was in the military and they were awful. I hope things get better for you.

    ReplyDelete

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